What Is Something That Still Scares You When You Think Back on It?
At two in the morning, I heard someone chopping dumpling filling next door. Thud, thud, thud, without stopping. I already had a fever, nearly forty degrees Celsius, and was almost delirious. Add that chopping sound, and my head was about to explode.
I went straight over and knocked on the door. “Can you keep it down? It’s the middle of the night. My head’s about to explode.”
I knocked several times, but nobody answered.
The hallway was cold. Just as I was about to go back inside, I heard a door opening. But it wasn’t my next-door neighbor’s. It was the neighbor across the hall.
Her hair hung loose, her face was deathly pale, and her eyes were full of red blood vessels. If I hadn’t been able to see her feet, I really would’ve thought she was a female ghost.
01
The woman beckoned me over. I instinctively leaned closer.
She whispered in my ear, “Young man, you heard it too?”
I froze for a few seconds. “Heard what?”
“The sound of chopping meat,” she said in panic.
When I didn’t speak, she continued, “I told the people in the building, but none of them believe me. Knocking on that door won’t do any good. Nobody’s in there.”
Nobody in there? Then where was the chopping coming from? An auditory hallucination?
Before I could react, she’d already shut her door.
It was cold in the hallway, so I had to go back inside first.
Late that night, half asleep, I thought I heard chopping again.
When I opened my eyes again, it was already nine in the morning.
It was an old building with poor soundproofing. I heard heavy footsteps in the hallway.
I opened the door and saw a lot of police officers, along with a forensic examiner, at my neighbor’s apartment across the hall.
The woman who’d spoken to me last night was dead. Her body had been chopped into mince, with only a few intact bones left.
And the person who killed her was actually her husband of nineteen years. They’d always had a good relationship.
Her husband had already fled. They were still trying to catch him.
An officer surnamed Zhang came to question me. “What did you hear last night?”
I answered honestly. “At two in the morning, I heard chopping from 302. It was too noisy, so I went out to knock. Nobody in 302 opened the door. Instead, the lady in 301 opened hers. She told me nobody was in 302, then shut her door. Officer, does anyone actually live in 302?”
I looked at Officer Zhang in confusion. He hesitated for a few seconds before saying, “As far as we currently know, nobody lives there.”
I could feel my voice trembling. “But I clearly heard someone chopping meat.”
Officer Zhang looked at me. “Could you have remembered the time wrong?”
My head ached a little. I tried hard to remember yesterday. Had I seen the woman first, then heard the chopping, or heard the chopping first and then seen her?
My head was going to explode. “Officer Zhang, I might’ve been delirious from the fever yesterday. I can’t remember clearly.”
He asked a few more simple questions. “Have you seen anyone suspicious in the compound lately?”
I shook my head. I almost never went out.
A murder in the compound, and the victim was my neighbor across the hall. I wanted to move.
I called the agent and asked him to find me another apartment. But every place that dog of an agent offered was horribly expensive. He wanted more money, and my pockets were empty.
I could only comfort myself. It’s fine, it’s fine. I wasn’t close to the neighbors across the hall anyway. Whatever grievances the couple had between them wouldn’t involve an outsider like me.
At two in the morning, I heard chopping again. This time, it was even louder than before. It was definitely coming from next door.
If only I could punch a hole in the wall. I turned on my phone and tapped record.
I was going to record the chopping and send it to the police.
Early the next morning, knocking woke me. I opened the door to find two police officers outside, one of them Officer Zhang.
He smiled at me and said he needed my cooperation with the investigation. I said, “Come in. I have evidence. I heard chopping again yesterday. I recorded all of it. I was just about to bring it to you.”
The two officers sat on the sofa. I opened my phone and played the recording.
But the recording wasn’t the sound of chopping. It was my voice. “You old, ugly, crazy woman. Go die. I’ll chop you into mince and feed you to the dogs!”
02
I jumped in fright and threw my phone onto the floor. “I never said that! I never said it!”
Panicking, I stood and stared into Officer Zhang’s eyes. “That’s not my phone. Not my phone. I never said anything like that.”
Officer Zhang was very calm. He picked the phone up and played the recording again. “You old, ugly, crazy woman. Go die. I’ll chop you into mince and feed you to the dogs!”
He handed the phone to the other officer and gestured for me to sit. “Zhang Nian, calm down first. We won’t falsely accuse anyone. Please cooperate with the investigation.”
I hurriedly nodded. “I will. I’ll definitely cooperate.”
I took a deep breath and sat back down.
Officer Zhang looked at me. “Zhang Nian, when you were sixteen, you were diagnosed with split personality disorder.”
Before he could finish, I spoke. “I recovered ages ago!”
How had Officer Zhang found out about my illness?
That was ten years ago. That hospital had closed down long ago.
Officer Zhang’s brows were tightly furrowed. He clearly didn’t believe me.
I emphasized it again. “I got better ten years ago. I’m a normal person now. I did well at school and got into a top university. I have a respectable job too. The salary’s just a little low, but that’s all right. I’m content.”
Officer Zhang only looked at me without speaking. That made me panic. I smiled and went on. “I… I’m telling you all this because I want you to know my life is good. I have hope. I couldn’t possibly kill someone.”
Suddenly, Officer Zhang patted my shoulder. Reassuringly, he said, “Don’t be nervous. Tell me your name.”
My name? My name was Zhang Nian. I’d told him yesterday. Why was he asking again?
I shot to my feet and backed away a few steps. “I told you my name yesterday. Why are you asking again? Do you think I’m sick?”
The way Officer Zhang asked was just like the doctor who’d treated me back then. He’d asked my name too.
I’d answered wrong, and then they strapped me to a bed and locked me up. So many people in white clothes. They said they wanted to save me. Nobody listened to what I said.
I took a few steps toward Officer Zhang again. “My name is Zhang Nian. I live on Changhe Street. My neighbor across the hall is Wang Lan. She’s on the neighborhood committee. She’s always telling people in the compound that I’m sick, but I didn’t kill her. I really didn’t. Officer Zhang, you have to believe me. You’re not a doctor, are you?”
Instinctively, I pulled at his clothes.
The officer who’d been sitting on the sofa suddenly stood. “Xing-ge.”
He was probably calling Officer Zhang. Officer Zhang said, “It’s okay.”
Translator’s note: Ge (哥) means older brother; “Xing-ge” is a familiar, respectful way to address an older male colleague or friend.
Officer Zhang wasn’t a doctor. There was no white coat under his clothes.
I breathed a sigh of relief and hurriedly let go. “Officer Zhang, I’m sorry.”
He straightened his clothes and said calmly, “Zhang Nian, don’t be nervous. We’re here to understand the situation. This case is complicated. It’s already gone beyond what we anticipated. I need your cooperation.”
I nodded desperately. “I will. I’ll definitely cooperate.”
03
Officer Zhang had me record the same words on a phone so he could take them back for comparison.
Before he left, he emphasized that I shouldn’t leave the city for the next few days. I might need to go to the police station to give a statement at any time. He also suggested I install a camera at home, just to be prepared.
After he left, I went out and bought a camera, then installed it at home.
I checked all the doors and windows. Everything was intact.
But I was afraid. After all, someone had died across the hall, and died horribly. The murderer hadn’t been caught either. I wanted to stay in a hotel for a couple of days and lie low.
I found a chain hotel. Safe and clean.
Tonight, I could finally get a good night’s sleep.
I washed up early and got into bed before ten.
Just as I was about to sleep, I heard a woman laughing next door, along with a man’s low panting. This was a hotel. Perfectly normal. The soundproofing just wasn’t great.
Then I heard the man say, “You little vixen. You’re a hundred times better than that old woman.”
That voice sounded familiar, like I’d heard it somewhere before.
Where exactly had I heard it?
I couldn’t remember.
Forget it. Stop thinking.
I closed my eyes and kept trying to sleep, praying I wouldn’t hear chopping tonight.
Half asleep, I seemed to see Wang Wanfu. He was the husband of the woman across the hall.
He lay under the bed, as if hiding from someone.
So noisy. Who was talking?
I felt as though I’d fallen into an endless abyss. I wanted to open my eyes but couldn’t.
The alarm woke me at nine in the morning.
I’d dreamed all night. Although I was tired, at least I hadn’t heard chopping.
In a great mood, I decided to get up and go out for food.
I’d just sat up when I saw blood all over the floor. On the white sheets too, and all over the mirror.
“Ah! Blood!” Who had killed someone in my hotel room?
Scared half to death, I grabbed my phone and called Officer Zhang.
He answered quickly. “Hello, Zhang Nian. I was just about to contact you. The voice comparison results are back…”
I couldn’t make out what he was saying at all. All I could feel was the pain in my head, as if it were going to explode.
Fragments of the dream kept appearing in my mind.
Wang Wanfu lying under the bed. He was chopped into several pieces with an ax, his body hidden in a white suitcase.
Where was the suitcase?
Officer Zhang’s voice came from the phone again. “Hello? Zhang Nian, are you listening?”
Trembling, I said, “Officer Zhang, I’m at a hotel. There’s blood everywhere.”
“Send me your location. Call the front desk. Move somewhere safe.”
I did as he said, notified the front desk, and hid in the hotel lobby.
Officer Zhang arrived very quickly, with several other officers.
They sealed off the scene. Officer Zhang handed me a cup of water. “Zhang Nian, we found Wang Wanfu’s body under the bed you were sleeping in. This time, we need you to come to the station to give a statement.”
I shot to my feet. “The station? Can I not go? I didn’t kill anyone!”
Officer Zhang shook his head. “If you refuse, we’ll have to take compulsory measures.”
I stared into his eyes. There was a tear mole at the corner of his eye. His eyes were so familiar. I seemed to have seen him when I was little.
Instinctively, I took half a step back. “You’re not a cop. You’re a murderer. I’ve seen you!”
04
I was about to run when Officer Zhang grabbed my arm. Then he took my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eyes. He said loudly, “Zhang Nian! Look carefully. Who am I? Who killed Wang Lan?”
My head felt as though it would explode!
Wang Lan’s face appeared in my mind. She pointed at my nose and cursed. “So young and already no good, fooling around in hotels. What a thing you are. Ptui!”
My body couldn’t stop shaking.
I remembered ten years ago. Wang Lan scolding me, scolding me without stopping.
In a fit of impulse, I’d told her, “If you keep cursing me, I’ll kill you!”
Had I really killed her?
I clutched Officer Zhang’s arm and whispered, “I… I killed Wang Lan. She cursed me, called me crazy, said I was fooling around. But I didn’t go to the hotel. I was passing by and saw her husband go in with another woman. I really told her out of kindness. Why did she curse me?”
Officer Zhang’s eyes suddenly reddened. He actually hugged me and patted my back. “You didn’t kill her.”
After I calmed down, he slowly let go.
I looked carefully at his face again. I seemed to have mistaken him for someone else. “How do you know I didn’t kill her?”
He didn’t answer directly. He only reassured me a few times.
I still went to the police station and gave a statement.
Afterward, Officer Zhang walked me out. “I suspect the murderer has set his sights on you.”
His words made my hair stand on end. I’d been in this city for less than a year, and I had no enemies. Who exactly was targeting me?
When I didn’t speak, he continued, “I want to solve the case as soon as possible too. If it’s convenient, I can protect you.”
“Protect me?”
Officer Zhang nodded. “Yes.”
I asked again, “How?”
“I see you live alone. For the next few nights, I can stay with you.”
05
His words left me stunned for a few seconds. “Really?”
Officer Zhang smiled. “Really.”
I thanked him and sent him my address.
“Officer Zhang, I’ll make a few dishes for you tonight.”
He smiled. He actually looked quite good when he smiled.
“Be careful on your way home,” he said.
Then he went back into the station.
I took a taxi back to the compound, then went to the little supermarket to buy groceries. I heard the owner chatting with someone.
“Something’s happened in Building Five again,” the owner said. “The old couple in 203 died of gas poisoning.”
The auntie buying vegetables said, “They weren’t even that old. They were so healthy. Ah.”
I’d seen the couple in 203. They were kind-looking old people. What a shame.
After buying groceries, I went home.
Nothing in the apartment had changed. Before entering, I’d even checked the surveillance footage. Everything was normal. No changes at all.
I went into the kitchen, washed the vegetables, and sliced the meat.
I checked the time. Already five in the afternoon. I didn’t know when Officer Zhang would arrive.
Once the food was prepared, I felt a little sleepy and wanted to close my eyes.
I lay on the sofa, intending to rest with my eyes shut, and set an alarm for six.
Time passed minute by minute. When I opened my eyes again, it was eleven at night. The alarm I’d set hadn’t gone off.
I looked out the window. Pitch-black outside.
Officer Zhang had sent me a message at five thirty. “Something urgent came up. Eat first. I’ll be there later.”
Looking at the empty room, I felt a little afraid for some reason.
I kept feeling someone had come inside.
Suddenly, thud, thud, thud.
Someone knocked.
I jumped and called toward the door, “Who is it?”
I walked over and looked through the peephole, but it was pitch-black outside. I couldn’t see anything clearly.
“It’s Zhang Xing.” Officer Zhang’s voice came from outside.
I immediately relaxed. Just as I was about to open the door, I withdrew my hand.
Better message him to confirm. “Officer Zhang, are you outside my door?”
He replied almost instantly. “I just got downstairs.”
Almost at the same time, the handle was pressed down hard. “Open up!”
The person outside wasn’t Officer Zhang.
Fortunately, I’d left the key in the lock.
I heard hurried footsteps. Someone was running upstairs.
Officer Zhang sent me a message. “Zhang Nian, I’m here. Are you okay?”
I looked through the peephole again. This time, I saw Officer Zhang’s face.
I pulled out the key and opened the door. The instant I saw him, my suspended heart finally settled.
He said apologetically, “Sorry I’m late.”
“It’s fine. You’re not late. Come in.” He entered, and I shut the door. “Someone was talking outside just now, pretending to be you. Good thing I didn’t open up.”
Officer Zhang glanced toward the bedroom and smiled. “Don’t worry. Nothing will happen.”
I nodded. “Have you eaten, Officer Zhang? I haven’t. I was asleep all this time.”
He glanced at the kitchen too. “I haven’t either. Shall we cook together?”
I nodded and went into the kitchen with him.
We’d barely entered when I thought I heard movement in the bedroom.
Officer Zhang asked, “What are you looking at?”
“Huh? Nothing.”
06
Smiling, Officer Zhang said, “I’ll cook. You can help me.”
“Oh? Okay.” I nodded. “Officer Zhang, has there been any progress on the case?”
“We’ve got some leads.”
He didn’t want to go into detail, so I didn’t ask. I only hoped they’d catch the killer soon.
By the time we finished eating, it was midnight.
I said, “Officer Zhang, do you want to stay in the master bedroom? That’s where I was sleeping when I heard chopping next door.”
He hesitated for a few seconds. I knew what concerned him. “There are two beds.”
The other was a folding bed. The master bedroom was big enough for it.
Officer Zhang nodded. “All right. Let’s get some rest, then. May I use your bathroom? I’m all sweaty and want a shower.”
“Of course.”
He went into the bathroom, and I returned to the bedroom. The window was open. I remembered it being closed before.
Had I remembered wrong?
I shut the window. After his shower, Officer Zhang came into the master bedroom without a shirt. “Officer Zhang, you’re in great shape.”
He smiled. “You’re not bad yourself.”
We chatted for a bit. We actually came from the same hometown, the same urban district.
I switched off the light, closed my eyes, and slept.
With Officer Zhang there, I felt safe.
I slept straight through till morning.
When I opened my eyes, he was already gone. He’d messaged me at seven. “Something came up at the station. I’m heading out first.”
I got up. I needed to go to work too.
Because of the murder, I’d already taken three days off.
If I didn’t go back, I’d lose my rice bowl.
The weather was lovely today. At the compound entrance, I saw a gray-haired old lady grabbing a short, skinny man’s arm and shouting, “Don’t you watch where you’re going? Apologize!”
The short, skinny man shoved her away hard. As he turned, I saw his face clearly.
Why did he look so much like Officer Zhang?
He wasn’t Officer Zhang. He didn’t have a tear mole at the corner of his eye.
The short, skinny man ran very fast and got into a black car.
My head hurt so much.
I seemed to have seen that short, skinny man before.
My head was killing me. Who exactly was he?
“Zhang Xing, why did you kill someone? Run!”
“What are you looking at me for?”
“Run!”
“Ah!”
My head hurt so badly. Help!
Who would save me?
Impossible. I couldn’t have mistaken him.
“You killed Wang Lan?”
“She called you crazy, so you killed her!”
“You hated her, so you chopped her into mince!”
“You have schizophrenia. You’re sick!”
“Admit it. You’ve been taking medication all along!”
“I didn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t kill her!”
“Then who did?”
“Who?”
“What did you see?”
“It was me.”
“I killed her!”
“Stop asking. Please.”
“I killed Wang Lan!”
I collapsed onto the ground. Tears kept falling, and I couldn’t stop them.
I walked down the street like a living corpse. Fortunately, the short, skinny man didn’t know I’d seen him, or that I’d memorized the license plate.
I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and went to work.
After work, I messaged Officer Zhang. “Officer Zhang, I’m working overtime today. I’m planning to stay at a hotel near the office.”
I really did need to work overtime. After those days off, quite a lot of work had piled up.
He replied, “Okay. Stay safe.”
07
At ten that night, I walked out of the office building. I noticed someone in a corner. Someone from the police station.
I found a hotel near the office and checked in.
I deliberately chose the second floor.
Then I called the agent again and asked him to find me a cheap apartment.
Even a place where someone had died would do.
The agent really did find me one. Still old, shabby, and small.
Not only was the location remote, the compound was about to be demolished, and very few people remained.
The corners of my mouth lifted slightly. It met my requirements perfectly.
On Saturday, I moved into the new compound.
The hallway lights were sound-activated and very dim. The light on the third floor was broken.
I moved into 401 and spent the next few days getting familiar with the surroundings.
Only a handful of households remained in my building. In 403, across the hall, lived a forty-year-old man. He was a drunk, and people in the compound called him Sun Liang.
One day, we happened to run into each other as I went out. He said, “Young man, this compound’s about to be demolished. Why move here now?”
As he spoke, his eyes kept sizing me up.
Like he was inspecting merchandise.
I said, “No choice. My salary’s too low.”
Hearing that, Sun Liang’s eyes lit up. He smiled. “Young man, what’s your name? I happen to know a way to make money.”
Was he taking me for an idiot?
Trying to scam me?
“My name’s Zhang Nian. What way to make money?”
Sun Liang put a hand straight onto my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s find somewhere for the two of us to have a drink. I’ll tell you the road to riches.”
We found a place to drink. He could really put it away.
He was a human trafficker. He wanted me to join him, saying I was handsome and could trick pretty girls.
This scum deserved death by a thousand cuts.
Drunk as a dead dog, he and I supported each other on the way back.
Climbing the stairs, Sun Liang slurred, “Money isn’t easy to make. Stick with me, and you’re guaranteed a future.”
I agreed. “A future. Definitely a future.”
When we reached the fourth floor, he pulled me into his apartment. Exactly what I wanted.
Pretending to be drunk, I collapsed onto the sofa. “Don’t touch me. I’m sleeping right here.”
Sun Liang laughed and went into the master bedroom.
Late at night, I heard the door open. He was here!
I could feel someone standing in front of me. He stayed for a few seconds, then moved away.
I heard the master bedroom door being pushed open.
I opened my eyes. Sure enough, a figure went into the bedroom.
Slowly, I got up and took out the knife I’d prepared.
I slowly approached the bedroom. I had to catch that short, skinny man.
I would kill him with my own hands. Chop him up, skin him, and throw him into the sewer.
At the bedroom doorway, I saw the short, skinny man squeezing Sun Liang’s neck tightly. Sun Liang’s eyes rolled back, and he couldn’t make a sound.
I laughed. “You finally came.”
The short, skinny man’s body visibly jolted. He turned toward me, shock filling his eyes.
He grabbed an ax beside him and swung it at me.
I kicked him in the stomach. I might be thin, but I was tall and still young.
This short, skinny man was no match for me.
He stared at me with eyes as big as a bull’s, then raised the ax and swung again. I stepped back half a pace, circled behind him, and drove my knife into his back.
I pulled the knife out again. Blood splattered across the floor. “Come on! Don’t you like chopping people into mince? Come chop me into mince!”
08
“You’re courting death!” The short, skinny man charged at me again.
His ax struck my left arm. My knife went into his shoulder. “You murderer! Who the hell are you?”
I knocked him to the ground. He crawled around wildly.
Like an ant on a hot pan.
I grabbed his hair and pointed toward the refrigerator. “See that? I’ll chop you up and stuff you into the fridge. Cut you into a thousand pieces.”
I learned things quickly. I’d read books about this kind of thing.
The short, skinny man feigned composure. “You’re a fucking lunatic!”
I laughed, gripping his hair tightly. “So you know I’m a lunatic?”
“What exactly do you want?”
“Help!”
“I’m Zhang Xing’s own uncle. Don’t kill me.”
The short, skinny man cried for help, his voice trembling.
Zhang Xing’s own uncle?
No wonder they looked so alike.
I remembered that Zhang Xing’s uncle was called Zhang Zhiyang. An out-and-out… person, he’d angered Zhang Xing’s grandmother to death, then disappeared for many years.
Someone like that, Zhang Xing wouldn’t care about him.
“Don’t kill me. I know you and Zhang Xing are friends. If you kill me, Zhang Xing won’t forgive you.”
He wouldn’t stop trembling. He finally knew fear. Too bad it was too late.
I grabbed his head and slammed it hard against the floor. Thud, thud, thud.
Suddenly, a rope wound around my neck from behind.
When had Sun Liang woken up?
Why was he attacking me?
Was he working with Zhang Zhiyang?
I struggled desperately. Sun Liang’s fist crashed into my head.
Zhang Zhiyang, who’d been lying on the floor, suddenly stood. He picked up the ax, malice in his eyes. “Go die!”
Zhang Zhiyang raised the ax and was about to chop at me. I dodged with everything I had, and he struck the floor.
I grabbed the knife beside me and stabbed Sun Liang in the calf. He screamed, “Ah!”
At the same time, Zhang Zhiyang raised the ax and chopped hard into my lower leg. In that instant, I heard bone crack.
I curled into a ball. Zhang Zhiyang took the opportunity to tighten the rope around my neck. Sun Liang came over to help, and the two tied me up.
Zhang Zhiyang planted his foot on my face and said arrogantly, “You bastard. I’m definitely going to kill you!”
Then he took a syringe from his pocket and jabbed it into me.
Beside him, Sun Liang said, “Stupid kid. We put on a show for you, and you took it seriously. You’re just a mental case. Do you even have a brain?”
He threw back his head and laughed, poking my head with a finger.
A show?
I snorted coldly. “Come on! Chop me into mince. You two pieces of shit won’t die a good death!”
My voice was terribly weak. I didn’t know what that bastard Zhang Zhiyang had injected me with.
Zhang Zhiyang glared at Sun Liang and cursed. “He nearly beat me to death, and you were just watching the show!”
Sun Liang kicked me hard a few times. “He’s young and had a knife. Of course I had to wait until he wasn’t looking. It’s not like you’d die.”
Zhang Zhiyang picked up the knife and placed it against my wrist. “First, I’ll let some of your blood out.”
09
“Come on. I knew you were a eunuch when I was sixteen.”
When Zhang Zhiyang was young, he liked to fool around. He caught a disease, and there was no choice but to cut it off.
His mind was twisted. I guessed that had something to do with it.
Zhang Zhiyang grabbed my head and slammed it into the floor. “You’re courting death!”
I could feel the blood flowing. The pain pierced my heart.
He slit my wrist with the knife. It hurt terribly. Pain was what I feared most, but I couldn’t let him see that.
I gritted my teeth and glared at him. “Eunuch.”
Zhang Zhiyang grabbed my neck. “I have plenty of ways to torture you. You brought this on yourself.”
He took my hand, raised a hammer, and brought it down hard on my fingers.
All ten fingers are connected to the heart. The pain made me suck in a sharp breath.
Zhang Zhiyang laughed. “Hurts, doesn’t it? It’s only two o’clock. Dawn’s a long way off. Nobody’s coming to save you.”
Nobody would save me?
I sneered. For some reason, I felt Zhang Xing would come.
Only I knew I’d moved.
I hadn’t told him.
I regretted it a little.
Would he come save me?
While my mind wandered, another burst of agony shot through my fingers.
Sun Liang suddenly spoke. “Wait. Don’t kill him.”
He crouched and patted my face. “Such a pretty face. It’d be a shame to chop him into mince.”
Zhang Zhiyang snorted. “What do you want to do?”
Sun Liang gave a lewd smile, lit a cigarette, and took a deep drag. “Play.”
I froze for a few seconds, then immediately understood what he meant by “play.”
Sun Liang smiled. “Scared?”
“If you fucking dare touch me, I’ll kill you!”
Sun Liang grabbed my clothes and pulled them down.
“Fuck you!”
“Let me go!”
“Sun Liang, I’ll fucking kill you!”
I used every bit of strength in my body to shout, but only a faint voice came out.
That bastard Sun Liang tore my clothes off. Zhang Zhiyang watched from the side with a lewd grin.
Sun Liang’s hand on my shoulder made me sick.
It made me even more desperate.
I wasn’t afraid of death, but I didn’t want to die like this.
“Fuck you!”
“I won’t let you off even as a ghost!”
“Don’t fucking touch me. Disgusting!”
Sun Liang undid his belt. “Nobody’s saving you.”
“Sun Liang, I won’t fucking let you off even as a ghost!”
“I’ll kill you!”
“Fuck you!”
Just as Sun Liang was about to succeed, I heard a bang. Someone kicking the door.
Zhang Zhiyang and Sun Liang both froze. Zhang Zhiyang kicked Sun Liang. “Go look.”
Sun Liang picked up the knife from the floor and headed toward the door.
Bang. The door was kicked open.
“Zhang Nian!” I heard someone call my name. Zhang Xing.
Sun Liang charged with the knife. Zhang Xing kicked him to the floor, straddled him, and started punching.
Sun Liang howled like a ghost. Punch after punch crashed into his nose, as if Zhang Xing meant to beat him to death.
Zhang Zhiyang, standing beside me, went to help.
Zhang Xing snatched the ax from his hand and smashed it hard into his head. I heard bone shatter. Zhang Zhiyang collapsed unconscious onto the floor.
Then Zhang Xing straddled him and kept hitting. Zhang Zhiyang’s blood splashed onto my face. He was beaten into a bloody mess. At first, he still begged. Later, he couldn’t even make a sound.
I spoke weakly. “Zhang Xing, stop. You’re going to beat them to death.”
I couldn’t stand by and watch Zhang Xing kill someone.
His eyes were bloodshot, tears falling without stopping. He rushed to my side and covered me with his clothes. Crying, he said, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
His hands were covered in blood. He untied the ropes around me. “I’m sorry!”
Weakly, I asked, “How did you find me?”
10
Zhang Xing cried. “I kept messaging you, but you never replied. I should’ve found you sooner. I’m sorry.”
He called the police, then called 120. I was taken to the hospital. Zhang Zhiyang and Sun Liang were sent to the ICU for emergency treatment.
My lower leg was fractured, and the bones in my fingers were broken too. Fortunately, they could heal.
Zhang Zhiyang and Sun Liang remained under emergency treatment. When they woke, they would stand trial.
Zhang Xing was suspended by his superior for acting impulsively.
I lay in the hospital bed, and he sat beside it. “Does it still hurt?”
I shook my head. “Not as much.”
His eyes were red. Again, he said, “I’m sorry.”
Then he started crying again.
I laughed. “Why do you keep crying lately?”
He looked at me without speaking for a long time.
I said, “I’m a man. There’s no hurdle I can’t get over. I’m not even making a big deal of it. You, on the other hand, got suspended.”
Zhang Xing licked his lips and set the food he’d prepared in front of me. “If I hadn’t gone…”
Before he finished, I spoke. “You did go. You saved me.”
He lowered his head and looked at my hand. “But I got there late.”
“What? You find me disgusting now?”
“No, no, no. Of course not.” He stood in a panic. “We were bros when we were kids. Then you disappeared. I honestly never thought I’d get to see you again in this lifetime.”
I smiled. “Me neither. Never thought it.”
I knew that from the moment Zhang Xing saw me, he’d been guiding me, trying to make me remember the past.
He wanted to clear my name.
“When did you remember?” he asked.
“When I saw Zhang Zhiyang at the compound entrance.”
Zhang Xing was silent for a few seconds. Looking into my eyes, he said, “Then why did you forget ten years ago?”
“I was having an episode then. I didn’t even recognize you. How would I remember Zhang Zhiyang?”
His lips trembled a little. He said, “Oh,” and didn’t speak again.
“When you’re better, let’s go out and have fun.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
I would never tell Zhang Xing that I’d mistaken Zhang Zhiyang for him.
I would keep that secret for the rest of my life.
11
2006.4.7 Zhang Nian couldn’t possibly have killed anyone. I believe him. Those unscrupulous media are reporting nonsense. I really want to sew shut the mouths of those gossiping people in the compound.
2006.4.10 Today I went to the psychiatric hospital to visit Zhang Nian. His illness has worsened again. He doesn’t even recognize me.
2006.4.11 I miss Zhang Nian so much. When will he be able to come out?
2006.4.12 Fuck. These scumbags still dare curse Zhang Nian. I’ll fight them!
2006.4.14 Fighting isn’t the answer. It can’t shut everyone up.
2006.7.19 How did it become an unsolved case?
2006.7.29 I have to get into the police academy!
2016.8.10 I really never thought I’d run into Zhang Nian. Only, he didn’t recognize me.
2016.8.11 This case resembles the one ten years ago. The same killer did it. That beast dares to show himself again. I have to catch him.
2016.8.13 I can eat and live with my good bro again! Hoping I can get off work early today. Ah, overtime again. But there’s been progress on the case.
2016.8.15 The station is short-staffed. They’ve assigned us two more cases.
2016.8.16 Zhang Zhiyang is actually still alive. The killer is Zhang Zhiyang! Can’t stir the grass and startle the snake yet. We have to catch all his accomplices, sweep them all up in one net.
2016.8.20 I’ve already guessed the secret he doesn’t want me to know. I’ll pretend I don’t know. I’ll spend my whole life making up for what I owe him.
At a major tourist attraction, Zhang Xing and I went into a haunted house.
He was terribly timid and kept screaming.
I said, “And you’re supposed to be a cop. Scared like this? Stop hiding behind me.”
Zhang Xing said, “Who’s hiding? I’m protecting you.”
“Come on, then. You go in front. I don’t need your protection.”
“Fine, I’ll go in front. Stay close.” Zhang Xing walked ahead of me.
An NPC appeared in front of us holding a chainsaw. Zhang Xing yelled, “Ah!”
“Hahahaha!” I laughed until my stomach hurt and patted his shoulder. “You’d better stick with your ge after all.”
Zhang Xing nodded madly. “Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You’re the big bro. I’m the little bro. I’ll follow you.”
After leaving the haunted house, we went to another attraction and got into a hot-air balloon.
Like when we were children, eating, drinking, and having fun together. This lifetime was worth it.