Peach Hues Meet Spring: A Side Story

01

A soft, warm hand felt my forehead. A delighted voice said, “Taotao’s fever has gone down.”

I moved slightly. Countless memories surged into my mind like a tide.

Memories of my previous life, and of this one.

Little Peach Blossom and the children’s reluctant cries still seemed to linger in my ears. But when I opened my eyes, I discovered I’d become a little girl of five or six.

I didn’t know why. The original owner of this body had fallen into a lake while playing and been gravely ill for three days. When she woke, the person inside had become me.

Her parents were well-known wealthy merchants in the city. They loved each other and lived comfortably.

She also had two mischievous older brothers, the sort even cats and dogs found annoying. They spoiled their only sister to the heavens.

I experienced family affection I’d never known before.

I could learn whatever I wanted and eat whatever I liked. Life was carefree, peaceful, and comfortable.

Only… everything here was good, except that my xiang-gong, Jiang Debao, wasn’t here.

Translator’s note: Xiang-gong is a way of addressing one’s husband.

I grew up day by day. In this city beside mountains and a lake, everyone knew that Head Shopkeeper Hu, who sold rouge and face powder, had a charming, capable youngest daughter.

Even months before my sixteenth birthday, one group after another came to propose marriage.

My parents thought this candidate was good, that one wasn’t bad either. They brought a thick stack of proposals to ask my opinion.

I only shook my head. “I want to wait a little longer.”

Wait for the seasons to turn and the migratory birds to return. Wait for the spring breeze to bring him gently back.

Since I could be born again as a human being, perhaps I could be a little greedier. Perhaps my Debao would appear in this world, too.

My eldest brother was already married with a child and busy handling business elsewhere. Only Father slapped the table and blew at his beard. “This silly girl! This one won’t do, that one’s no good. Who knows what she thinks about all day? We’re a merchant family. Must she marry into some prince’s or minister’s household and be bullied?”

“If you ask me, if little sister doesn’t want to marry, then she shouldn’t! It’s not as if we can’t support her!” Second Brother protested loudly.

“Didn’t Taotao often have little accidents when she was young, and keep saying strange things? She only got better after we prayed for blessings at Mingjue Temple, didn’t she?” Mother hesitated, then spoke. “Perhaps in a few days I should take her to the temple again to offer incense and pray for a marriage.”

Mingjue Temple, which had moved here during the wars of the previous dynasty, stood outside the city, surrounded by peach trees. It was the third month, the season when peach blossoms bloomed. Flowers like rosy clouds fluttered in splendid profusion, as though smiling charmingly. Many visitors had come out to enjoy the spring, too.

Second Brother accompanied Mother and me to offer incense. After leaving the temple, we went to admire the flowers nearby.

I’d just picked up a fallen sprig of peach blossom when the sound of galloping hooves suddenly reached my ears. I didn’t know who first shouted, “Bandits! Run!”

At once, everything changed. Screams rose with the dust.

Huzhou was prosperous, and public order had always been good. I’d only heard a year ago that roving bandits were causing trouble in Chafu to the east. I hadn’t expected them to reach here.

The panicked, fleeing crowd separated me from Second Brother and the others. Seeing the mounted bandits charging closer, whooping excitedly, I knew I couldn’t outrun them. I hurried to find some shrubs and barely managed to hide.

Men’s hearty laughter and pitiful cries for help filled my ears. Then one of the raiders parted the branches with his saber and saw my pale face.

He paused in surprise. So did I.

I could no longer hear a single human voice or gust of wind. I only saw Jiang Debao’s face, which had grown a little blurred in my memory, suddenly become clear and alive, as though someone had redrawn its outline and colors.

I only had to lift my eyes slightly to see the firm, handsome line of his jaw.

The young man before me still had a little youthful immaturity in his features. His skin was much darker, and he lacked that gloomy air.

But I could feel the familiar presence.

He was my Debao.

With tears in my eyes, heedless of the cold blade trembling slightly before me, I seized the hem of his clothes and wouldn’t let go. My shaking voice filled unconsciously with an overwhelming sense of grievance. “Xiang-gong…”

He’d just casually grabbed my beaded necklace collar and was yanking it apart. At my words, he bristled like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. “You… what nonsense are you calling me?”

The same tone. Even the way he spoke was the same.

Unlike the soft, muted voice in my memory, this one held a young man’s clear brightness.

I pressed my lips together and smiled.

“Little Jiang, what are you dawdling for?” A burly, bearded man ran over, looked me up and down, and said, “This little lady’s quite pretty. Take her, too.”

“Little Jiang” lowered his eyes and saw that I was still clutching his clothes.

I was terrified that the moment I let go, my xiang-gong would disappear again, just as before.

Then I’d have to wait so, so long again.

He considered for two seconds, then gave an extremely fawning smile. “Second Chief, I don’t want anything else from this raid. Just give her to me.”

The big man laughed and raised his whip. “So you finally want a taste of meat, kid. Fine. Take her!”

“Who told you to grab me and waste my time?” “Little Jiang” scoffed as he tied me up. “Now look. You’re being taken to the bandit camp. You can’t get away.”

“Xiang-gong.” My eyes were still wet, but a sweet smile curved my lips. “As long as you’re here, I’m not afraid.”

“You’re so young. Is there something seriously wrong with your head?” he muttered, taking a black cloth to blindfold me.

I admitted my mind was mush at that moment. The joy of regaining what I’d lost occupied all my thoughts.

Jiang Debao had entered reincarnation again and no longer remembered me.

But that was all right. I remembered him.

This was the only thing I’d just asked the Buddha for, and it was the best birthday gift heaven could give me.

02

They took me back to a makeshift camp deep in the mountains.

Perhaps the raid had yielded a good haul. Even blindfolded and shut away, I could hear laughter and celebration in the distance.

I drifted into a heavy sleep. I didn’t know how much time passed before someone pushed open the bamboo door and came in.

He untied the black cloth, then bent closer to my neck.

The warmth of “Little Jiang’s” body, mixed with the smell of strong liquor, surrounded me. I seemed to become a little intoxicated, too. My heart pounded.

Was he going to kiss me? Nervous and shy, I closed my eyes.

But he only untied the hemp rope binding me. Seeing how completely willing I looked, he curled a finger and flicked my forehead. “Hah. So young, yet full of wishful thinking.”

Me: …

“Little Jiang” had drunk quite a bit and was probably feeling warm. His outer robe hung loosely from his shoulders, giving him a roguish air.

Seeing him standing before me, so very much alive, my eyes blurred with tears again.

He probably found it amusing. “Didn’t you bring this on yourself? What are you crying for, hmm?”

He poured me a cup of water and brought me a roasted chicken leg.

I’d been hungry for a long time. I took it and ate while crying.

“Little Jiang” glanced sideways at me. “You trust me that much? Aren’t you afraid I’ve drugged it?”

I seemed to return to that snowy night when we’d leaned against each other. After a moment’s silence, I said firmly and obediently, “Xiang-gong would only protect me. He wouldn’t hurt me.”

He choked on his words.

After thinking for a while, he asked, “I make my living licking blood off a blade. Have you mistaken me for someone else?”

Sniffling, I answered, “I haven’t. It was our previous life. We were married in our previous life…”

Seeing that I didn’t appear to be pretending, he stroked his chin and made a show of thinking. “No wonder you look a little familiar to me, too. Since we were married in our last life, that means we’ve done everything already. Why don’t we… revisit it now?”

“Little Jiang” picked me up and carried me toward the bed. Before I could react, he’d taken off his upper garment and pressed down on top of me.

I stared blankly into his teasing eyes, then reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist, my heart aching.

He probably hadn’t expected me to be so forward. His entire body went rigid.

I only felt so sad that I wanted to cry again.

His body was covered in bruises, with many scars, large and small.

Had his life been difficult this time, too?

But Little Peach Blossom and I had burned so, so much paper money for him and done so, so many good deeds, all so he could live a little better in his next life.

Still, that was all right. Now I’d found him, I’d be twice as good to him and keep him from suffering again!

Full of confidence, I encouraged myself. But the slightest movement made the shabby little bed go creak, creak.

“Little Jiang” stared into my eyes for a long while, then gave a helpless laugh.

He pried my hands away with two fingers, lowered his voice until it sounded just like a lover’s intimate murmur, and whispered in my ear, “Don’t move. Someone’s outside.”

His breath surrounded me, making my head dizzy. It felt as though a very long time passed before he rolled over and turned his back to me.

“They’re gone. There’s only one quilt, so make do. If you dare snore or grind your teeth and keep me awake, I’ll throw you out.”

“Xiang-gong, don’t sleep yet! Could you first take me… to relieve myself?” I asked, blushing, my voice growing smaller.

I didn’t want our first meeting to be this embarrassing, either. But I’d drunk the water a little too quickly, and now I really couldn’t hold it…

It was pitch-black outside, and I didn’t know the paths. What if I encountered another bandit, or a large snake or wild beast?

“Such a nuisance. I’ve never met a girl so shameless.” “Little Jiang” got up with a cold expression and unceremoniously tossed his outer robe onto me. “The mountain wind is chilly. Put it on yourself. Let’s go!”

Only after going outside did I see that the camp occupied a large clearing beside a cliff. Twenty or thirty crude bamboo huts stood scattered about. A few shabby tents in a corner seemed occupied, too. Only one rugged path led down the mountain, guarded by several burly men.

A typical place that was easy to defend and hard to attack.

I did my best to memorize the terrain. Once I’d taken care of everything, I followed “Little Jiang” back inside.

“Can you finally sleep quietly now?” He glared at me fiercely.

“Oh, right.” Remembering something, I reminded him softly, “In our previous life, we actually didn’t… didn’t do anything. Back then, you were a eunuch…”

“A eunuch?”

“Little Jiang’s” carefree smile froze. Through gritted teeth, he said, “Have you been making a fool of me this whole time?”

“What does being a eunuch matter? I never cared!”

He stared at me, dumbfounded, unable to find words to argue.

The bed was too small. Lying on my side, I wrapped my arms around his waist, just as he’d held me through countless nights together before. “Xiang-gong, I won’t bother you anymore. Sleep well. I’ll watch over you.”

“Little Jiang”: …

“Take your paws off. Touch me again and you can sleep on the floor!”

My xiang-gong was so fierce!

I let go, settling close to his solid back, at an intimate, ambiguous distance that still didn’t quite touch him.

Outside, the mountain wind howled through the treetops.

But I only felt that the missing piece in my heart had been restored. Beside my xiang-gong, I felt grounded and at peace.

03

In this life, my xiang-gong wasn’t called Jiang Debao. He told me to call him “Little Jiang,” like the other bandits did.

A round-faced young man saw us come out and ran over to sling an arm around his shoulders, grinning wickedly. “How did it feel to become a man last night?”

Little Jiang laughed and punched him. “Great! If you want to know how it feels, go ask Sister-in-law!”

Several people around us burst out laughing. “Being handsome like Little Jiang really is an advantage. A girl gives up being a rich family’s young miss and eagerly follows him here.”

“Young girls get spring fever too, huh. We just don’t know whether our Brother Jiang satisfied her last night. Hahahaha…”

Little Jiang was used to coarse talk. Hearing it, he couldn’t help turning to glance at me, a trace of awkwardness seeming to appear in his eyes.

I gave him a reassuring smile.

Xiang-gong, in our last life, there were far uglier rumors than these. I’m not afraid.

“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll come and get you tonight.”

He took me to several tents near the stream, gave a few instructions, and left on his own.

The tents housed girls captured earlier in Chafu. There were eight of them.

I’d heard there used to be more. They had to do hard work like washing clothes and cooking by day, and at night the bandits abused them however they pleased. Several had finally been unable to bear it and jumped from the cliff to their deaths.

The “sister-in-law” Little Jiang had mentioned, the round-faced young man’s wife Hong-jie, was among them too.

Translator’s note: Jie means “older sister”; Hong-jie is roughly “Sister Hong.”

She and I were probably the exceptions. We only had to work during the day. At night, we could return to our own “man’s” room.

I understood perfectly that in a place without law or morality, without Little Jiang’s protection, I’d probably meet the same fate as the others.

But would he really keep protecting me?

Naturally, I trusted the Jiang Debao of my previous life. But in this life, he no longer remembered me. He wouldn’t even tell me his real name. Could I trust him with all my heart?

The other girls worked at their tasks. Occasionally, one would raise her head and look at me numbly, then immediately shrink back and lower it again. Only Hong-jie put down the dirty clothes in her hands, warmly drew me aside, and chatted with me.

“I heard you followed Little Jiang willingly. What, did you know each other before?” She looked curious. “For him, you’re not even afraid of entering a bandits’ den?”

“We didn’t know each other,” I stammered. “But the moment I saw him, I felt as though I owed him something from a previous life. I didn’t run in time.”

“True. Otherwise, why do they all say women are foolish? Their whole lives get ruined by that one word, love.” My words seemed to stir distant memories in Hong-jie. Quietly, she said, “If it hadn’t been for my husband, I wouldn’t have wanted this life, either.”

“Little Jiang fights well, and he’s clever. I heard even the Chief wants to train him. You’re the first woman he’s taken since joining the camp. Just settle down and make a good life with him here.” Finally, Hong-jie patted my hand reassuringly.

I agreed with a shy expression, but inwardly, I shook my head.

I didn’t want that. I was going to take him away.

My xiang-gong deserved a better life.

When they weren’t raiding and robbing, the bandits often went hunting together in the forest. It trained their skills and added meat to their meals.

Today, Little Jiang had caught a rabbit, skinned it, coated it with honey, and roasted it. He brought me more than half.

“Xiang-gong, there’s something I want to tell you,” I said while taking small bites of rabbit.

After several days together, we’d grown much more familiar. He couldn’t even be bothered to correct the way I addressed him over and over anymore. Lazily, he asked, “What?”

I put down the rabbit leg, wiped the grease from my hands, and said softly, “Let’s escape. Let’s leave!”

“Oh?” In the flickering candlelight, Little Jiang’s face was calm, his expression hard to make out. “I see you eating well and sleeping quite comfortably beside me. I thought you were enjoying yourself so much you’d forgotten home.”

He stared at me with a half-smile. “Haven’t you been saying all along that you’d stay with me and protect me forever? What, are you starting to disdain me now?”

I gathered my courage. “We have hands and feet. Couldn’t we make a living doing anything else? Why spend our lives as bandits, killing and setting fires? Besides, I’ve noticed these roving raiders only recently gathered into one band. Their hearts aren’t united.”

For once, he clapped a few times in approval. “Not bad. Go on.”

“I’ve observed them. Late at night, the guards outside secretly doze off. We can take that chance to escape. Grab horses and run, and they certainly won’t catch us immediately. Once we reach the authorities, we’ll be safe. I learned a little martial arts before. I won’t hold you back.”

At my insistence, I’d studied martial arts with Second Brother when I was young. With the goal of “If anyone tries to bully my xiang-gong again, I’ll beat them flat,” I’d practiced seriously for five or six years. Handling one or two people would be no problem.

“So when you said you’d protect me, it wasn’t just talk.” His flippant manner grew a little more serious. “Then have you noticed why, with discipline this lax, no one else escapes?”

“Heh. Because everyone who tried to escape ended up dead.”

Ah… there was that, too?

“Have you also noticed that ordinarily, you only see the Second Chief here, while the supposedly cunning and ruthless Chief has never appeared?”

Uh. I didn’t seem to have paid attention to the bandits’ rankings…

He thought for a moment, as though making a decision, then looked at me solemnly. “Miss Hu, whether what you said about our previous life is true or not, right now, I only want to ask…”

“Can I trust you?”

“Of course!” I patted my chest in assurance. “Please trust me the way I trust you!”

“Xiang-gong, no one in this world wants to protect you more than I do.”

He closed his eyes briefly, his throat moving. “Look at me like that again, and you’ll find out the consequences.”

04

Little Jiang’s name was Jiang Cheng. He was a young general who’d infiltrated the bandits’ den to find the Chief, whose true face had never been revealed.

During the last campaign against bandits in Chafu, the Chief had escaped, then secretly gathered new followers to commit crimes everywhere. Unless the Chief was caught, these raiders would sooner or later rise again and deny the common people peace.

After hearing Jiang Cheng’s explanation, I asked, “Could the Chief be a woman?”

He considered briefly. “We’ve thought of that possibility, too. But it’s always been inconvenient to investigate the tents. If you could…”

Grinning, I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered in his ear, “If the Chief could be a woman, then I know who it is.”

Hong-jie.

Once, I’d seen Hong-jie coldly force the round-faced young man to kneel and admit his mistake. Her eyes had been full of disgust, without a trace of affection. She was extremely perfunctory with her work, washing the same few garments over and over. And when she’d held my hand, I’d felt the calluses on her palms that came from years of martial training.

After hearing me out, Jiang Cheng waited a long while before speaking with a look of disdain. “Hugged enough? Take your paws off!”

Hehe. Enough, enough. I’d already gained something.

With a definite suspect, everything went smoothly. One night, a large force of soldiers carrying blazing torches surrounded the entire camp and caught all those wicked raiders in one net.

Hong-jie tried her old trick, mingling with the captive women to slip away, but was stopped. After harsh interrogation, she indeed proved to be the legendary Chief.

The round-faced young man was only Hong-jie’s cover. She’d once been a woman of the wandering martial world. After her family declined, she’d married a bandit leader. When soldiers later killed her husband, she’d secretly taken over his forces.

Wrapping my clothes tightly around me, I followed the winding procession of soldiers. Ahead, I saw Jiang Cheng on horseback, waiting quietly beside the road. The flickering torchlight behind him made him look like a lonely, cold deity.

The deity held out a hand to me. “I’m the one who brought you here.”

“We came together. We leave together.”

A month after being abducted by the bandits, I finally returned home, frightened but unharmed.

Though I’d suffered no injury, the sharp-tongued people around us said all kinds of things. My parents were worried half to death but didn’t dare show any of it before me.

“Taotao, that young general who brought you home that day… will he really come to propose?” Mother asked cautiously.

I remembered Jiang Cheng taking me to our gate. Sitting high on his horse, he’d looked at me as though wanting to speak, then stopping. Finally, he’d squeezed out one sentence.

“I’ll do right by you. Wait for me at home and don’t worry.”

So I answered sweetly, “Mm.”

Second Brother went to make inquiries. Two days later, he returned angrily. “There’s only one young general of seventeen or eighteen named Jiang Cheng. He’s the youngest son of General Jiang of Nanjun. A family like that is beyond our reach. And I heard he’s been betrothed since childhood to a minister’s daughter. Has little sister met a swindler?”

“Impossible.” I shook my head. “He wouldn’t lie to me.”

My xiang-gong wouldn’t lie to me.

The girls of Huzhou were skilled with their hands. Most married wearing wedding robes they’d embroidered themselves. On finely woven, superior red cloth, I began stitching my wedding dress with delicate gold thread, one stitch at a time.

Immersed in the joy of reuniting with my xiang-gong, even though my embroidery had become much less practiced, I didn’t feel pain when the needle pricked my hand.

Fortunately, Jiang Cheng didn’t make me wait long. People sent by the general’s household arrived.

Second Brother secretly took me to the front hall. We’d barely hidden behind the screen when we heard a cheerful woman’s voice.

“The general’s household has an exceptional standing. Though Young General Jiang is the youngest son, he’s a courageous young hero who honors his word. For your daughter to catch his eye and become his only concubine is already a joyous stroke of tremendous fortune.”

Con… cubine?

The smiles froze on both Second Brother’s face and mine.

The matchmaker kept chattering. “Young General Jiang values your daughter highly. That’s why he specially sent us. Though she’ll be a concubine, the principal wife still has two years of mourning before entering the household. Besides, she’s a proper young lady of good family and certainly won’t make things difficult for your daughter. You only need to send your daughter off this year to enjoy a fortunate life…”

My heart felt encased in ice.

So… this was what Jiang Cheng had meant by doing right by me.

Of course. He remembered nothing of the past. To him, I was merely a strange girl he’d happened to spend a month with. Nothing had happened between us. For a highly placed young general to accept responsibility and give a merchant’s daughter the position of concubine—perhaps that already counted as a great favor?

I couldn’t stop myself from walking out. Seeing my parents’ pale faces, I smiled reassuringly at them.

“Though I have little talent or learning, I’ve heard the generals of Nanjun have been loyal and upright for generations. Surely they aren’t in the habit of forcing respectable women into concubinage?” With a cold smile, I tore the document apart, inch by inch. “If they aren’t, please tell Young General Jiang: I. Am. Not. Willing!”

The pieces fluttered through the air, just like my heart, crushed mercilessly to fragments.

I loved my xiang-gong and had waited so many years because he’d loved me, too.

Only me.

If, in this life, he was going to divide off a thread of the love he gave another woman and offer it to me as charity, then I didn’t want it.

And I wouldn’t wait anymore.

I smiled bleakly at Second Brother. “Hasn’t the family always wanted to expand our business into the southwest? Could I go with you?”

Second Brother hurriedly agreed.

After thinking for a while, I added, “Before we go southwest, please come with me to two places first.”

05

Hoofbells tinkling, treading through dreams; back in the capital beneath a hazy moon, an empty city of broken dreams.

Though several emperors had come and gone, and even the dynasty had changed, the capital still stood.

Too many beautiful and heartbreaking memories remained here.

The grand residence Jiang Debao and I had lived in had been torn down, replaced by a splendid restaurant.

Customers came like clouds and left like wind.

The pastry shop Little Peach Blossom and I had run in the southern city had also vanished beneath the rings of passing years. Unexpectedly, however, the peach grove remained, and had grown several times larger.

So I could no longer find where my xiang-gong had been buried.

But it didn’t matter. He was living well now.

A man in fine clothes on a spirited horse, brimming with confidence—that was what my Debao had most wanted to become.

He no longer remembered the past and had a completely new life. That was good, too.

I buried the red wedding dress I’d made beneath a peach tree.

With Jiang Cheng’s temperament, he wouldn’t pester me after being rejected. We probably wouldn’t meet again in this life.

I would treat everything in the past as a dream that had left no trace.

It seemed I ought to begin again and live the life I was supposed to live.

But fate was difficult to fathom after all. Would we really never meet again?

…

Our journey southwest brought many difficulties. But through Second Brother’s efforts and mine, a year later, we successfully opened a branch of our cosmetics shop.

The girls of Shu were bold, spirited, and eager to look beautiful. Business was good.

Half the customers came for the new rouge. The other half came to… look at me.

A handsome, gentle young shopkeeper who understood women’s makeup, smiled while speaking, and offered sincere advice—I would have liked that, too.

I’d originally dressed as a man for convenience. Instead, I’d stolen all the limelight from Second Brother, the head shopkeeper, leaving him still unable to find a girl he liked.

Occasionally, male customers came, too. Some bought things for wives and daughters. Others were harder to understand. For example…

“Choose one box each. My treat.”

A young constable said miserably, “Chief, I was born late in my parents’ lives. My mother’s almost sixty, and I’m not married. I have no use for rouge or powder!”

The imposing young chief constable said impatiently, “Aren’t I single, too? If you’re not married now, you will be someday. Take it first. What’s all this nonsense?”

Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, I stopped him. “Lin-dage, our goods sell very well. You really don’t have to force it…”

Translator’s note: Dage means “big brother,” a friendly way to address an older man.

His handsome face reddened slightly, and he pushed a piece of silver into my hand. “Young Shopkeeper Hu, we really want to buy them. Take the money.”

Ever since I’d helped Chief Constable Lin catch a female thief, he’d been coming to our shop every few days.

Helplessly, I accepted the silver and sighed inwardly. Ah, constables don’t know the price of cosmetics. Another loss.

Never mind. We’d just arrived. Call it building good relations between officials and the people.

The constables had bought quite a few of the goods on display. I went to the storeroom, opened a newly arrived crate to count the stock and put it on the shelves—and discovered someone hiding inside.

Disheveled hair. A sharply defined face.

Startled, I covered my mouth. He looked back at me, in a sorry state.

It was Jiang Cheng.

His dark expression faltered in astonishment. He withdrew the short sword he’d intended to threaten me with, and for a moment his eyes seemed dazed. “Taotao?”

I calmed down and, expressionless, slammed the lid shut.

Footsteps stopped behind me. Chief Constable Lin had come back. “Young Shopkeeper Hu, I forgot to tell you. There have been bandits around lately. The yamen is assisting the prince’s residence with a search. Please be careful. If you see anyone suspicious, send someone to find me anytime. I… I’ll always be here.”

Smiling, I agreed and saw him out, then had several people carry the crate into my room.

Once everyone had gone, I closed the door and opened the crate. “Come out!”

Jiang Cheng’s leg was injured. I helped him sit by the bed, but he only stared at me unblinkingly with dark eyes.

“Why are you here?”

That was exactly what I wanted to ask him. But as the words reached my lips, I remembered that I no longer had the standing to ask, so I simply stayed silent.

When I didn’t answer, he paused, then spoke as though something had blocked his throat. “Back then… why did you refuse?”

“I went to find you, but your family would only say you’d left home to travel.” His face was so dark it could have dripped water. “Did you refuse because all those things you said before… about liking me and protecting me were lies?”

From his expression alone, one would have thought he was the one whose sincere feelings had been betrayed.

My one-sided approach seemed to have caused him trouble, too. So I answered directly, “No particular reason. I just don’t want to be a concubine. I thought you’d marry me as your wife in this life, too. Just the two of us, for a whole lifetime.”

I’d thought my heart was already as still as dead water. But as I spoke, my eyes treacherously reddened.

He’d probably only spent a little time wondering whether I liked him. He hadn’t expected this answer. After a long silence, he said with bitter self-mockery, “So that’s it. I was too shallow. It’s only right that you hate me.”

Hate?

Honestly, he remembered nothing. Toward a strange girl who’d so actively approached him, he had already behaved responsibly enough. I’d simply been too greedy.

“I don’t hate you.” I shook my head. “I trust you, Young General Jiang. You’re a hero who protects our homes and country. You saved me once. I’ll repay you once. After that, neither of us will owe the other anything.”

“Neither… will… owe… anything…” Jiang Cheng repeated darkly. His pale fingertips tightened on the silk quilt, and he silently closed his eyes.

Was it the pain from his wound?

I pulled up his trouser leg and saw a gruesome, bloody injury. Taking out wound salve, I treated and bandaged it.

He lifted his eyelids slightly and looked at me in surprise.

What was he staring at?

Coldly, I said, “I learned a little when I was young. You can’t go out now. Even if you don’t trust my medical skills, you’ll have to endure them.”

After dressing the wound, I handed him a piece of black gauze. “You’re the wanted bandit people are talking about, aren’t you? To be safe, cover your face.”

My fierce manner seemed to have shocked Jiang Cheng, as though he no longer recognized me. At my words, he blankly put on the veil.

I quietly let out a breath.

The real reason I’d told him to cover his face was that seeing the face branded on the tip of my heart made my heart and liver ache.

06

Fortunately, Second Brother, who disliked Jiang Cheng, was away transporting goods and wouldn’t return for ten days or half a month.

Jiang Cheng’s position and mine were now completely reversed.

Once, I’d been able to do nothing but wait in a dilapidated bamboo hut for him to feed me. Now, until his wound healed, he could only hide in my boudoir and wait for me to return.

Every time I secretly brought Jiang Cheng food or changed his dressings and fed him medicine, I had the illusion that I was hiding a beauty in a golden house.

It… felt rather nice.

When Chief Constable Lin learned I’d obtained medicine to replenish blood and disinfect wounds, he slipped away from duty to hurry to the shop, repeatedly asking what had happened and where I felt unwell.

Ever since meeting Jiang Cheng again, my temper had been a little out of control. Irritably, I answered, “Lin-dage, are you going to ask about a girl’s private ailments, too?”

Chief Constable Lin fled in embarrassment.

Who says straight-arrow guys are clueless? It seemed he’d realized I was a woman back when I’d helped catch the thief.

I’d noticed his feelings for me, too. But I truly couldn’t accept anyone else now. As long as he didn’t say it aloud, I could only pretend not to know.

After wearing the black gauze for two days, Jiang Cheng finally realized that, since no one else could see him, it made no difference whether his face was covered.

Knowing he’d been tricked, he ground his teeth and deliberately paraded his freshly cleaned face before me all day.

My xiang-gong was my xiang-gong. Jiang Cheng was Jiang Cheng.

I repeated that inwardly, while outwardly remaining calm and treating him as invisible.

When Jiang Cheng saw that I still gave no reaction, he was so angry he laughed. Then he devised another way to torment me. Lying on the bed, he asked darkly, “Taotao, do you like your eunuch husband more, or me?”

Without hesitation, I answered, “Of course I like my xiang-gong, Jiang Debao.”

“Heh. Really? But when I think about how he’s me, I can’t even get jealous.” He grinned slyly. “What can you do? In this life, if you’re going to like someone, it can only be me.”

I was so angry I wanted to hit him.

Day after day passed like this. Jiang Cheng’s wound had mostly healed, and his gaze on me grew deeper, until people came to search the house.

Outside, Chief Constable Lin called cautiously, “Young Shopkeeper Hu, are you asleep?”

If it was Lin-dage, things were easier. I pressed down on Jiang Cheng’s hand as he reached for his sword, rumpled the bedding and covered him, then removed my outer garment and climbed under the quilt. Lazily, I answered, “Lin-dage, is something wrong?”

The guards from the prince’s residence lost patience and kicked open the door. A group carrying blades and swords entered and looked around.

Chief Constable Lin stepped forward in obvious displeasure, standing before the bed to block everyone’s view. “The room is only this big, and Young Shopkeeper Hu has already gone to bed. Where would a bandit be?”

The guard leading them knew him well. After glancing at the bed, he teased with a laugh, “You’re so protective of your Young Shopkeeper Hu. Anyone who didn’t know would think he was your wife!”

Because we were so close, I could clearly feel Jiang Cheng’s body tense at those words.

This wasn’t the time to act on emotion. I had no choice but to reach over and stroke the back of his hand soothingly.

Mm… just as I used to soothe Dahuang when he was angry, baring his teeth and wanting to bite.

Sure enough, Jiang Cheng slowly relaxed. He even seized the opportunity to take my hand.

Afraid of making too much movement, I didn’t dare pull away.

Chief Constable Lin punched the guard. “Stop talking nonsense. Hurry to the next house. Once we’re finished, I’ll buy everyone a drink!”

He deliberately slowed down and fell behind the others. Looking at the floor, he said quietly, “Y-Young Shopkeeper Hu, sorry to disturb you. You… get some rest.”

Jiang Cheng bit my hand sulkily.

Just like Dahuang, indeed.

Forcing myself to ignore the strange sensation in my hand, I nodded goodbye to Chief Constable Lin. “Thank you, Lin-dage.”

Once everyone had gone far away, I immediately threw back the quilt and glared at the tooth marks on my hand. “Young General Jiang, were you born in the Year of the Dog?”

“Then bite me back?” He held out a hand to my mouth. When I turned away, he smiled smugly. “Leave a little mark, so your thoughts don’t get carried away just because ‘Lin-dage’ calls you ‘Young Shopkeeper Hu’ a few times.”

I didn’t think this was right. Angrily, I looked at him. “Jiang Cheng, you’re about to get married. Stop provoking me. Leave once you’re healed, and devote yourself to your wife from now on!”

“There’s no one else.” His smile faded, and he looked at me seriously.

“After you rejected me, I was angry for a long time. I thought every woman in the world who spoke sweet words was hateful… I no longer wanted to marry just anyone, either, so I asked my mother to discuss breaking off the engagement.”

“Did your mother go?” I admitted I was still a little curious.

Just a little.

“Of course not. My father even beat me. He said Grandfather had arranged the marriage, and unless the other side brought it up first, we had to honor our promise. The Prince of Shu had long harbored rebellious intentions, so I volunteered for this dangerous reconnaissance mission. If she insisted on marrying me, she might be widowed very young. They got frightened and came to break off the engagement themselves.”

“Taotao, if it were you, would you be afraid?”

“Of course not!” It wasn’t as though I hadn’t waited for him in my previous life.

But that didn’t seem to be the point right now…

Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed in satisfaction. With a pitiful expression, he said, “As long as you’re not afraid. Otherwise, I’d have to grow old alone—or perhaps die on the battlefield without even anyone to gather my bones.”

Me: …

He lightly rolled out of bed. “My wound’s almost healed. I should have set out yesterday to report back, but I couldn’t help wanting to stay beside you a little longer.”

After packing his things, he looked at me hopefully. “Taotao, before I go, could you call me xiang-gong one more time?”

My thoughts were still in a daze. In the end, I only said blandly, “Young General Jiang… take care. I won’t see you out.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes dimmed. Finally, he bent down and whispered a reminder in my ear, “Leave Shu as soon as possible. Go home and wait for me.”

He also left a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Damn it. My face betrayed me and reddened again.

07

When Second Brother returned, I explained what had happened. He immediately jumped up. “You met him again? And spent that long alone together?”

Hating iron for not becoming steel, Second Brother wanted to shake my head awake. I pushed his hand away. “Someone who’s been single since birth wouldn’t understand. I can’t just leave Jiang Cheng injured and ignore him.”

Sure enough, I diverted his attention. “And whose fault is it that I’m single? Last time, that Miss Xiuxiu I liked was chatting with me perfectly well. Then you came, and suddenly she had eyes only for you! And the time before that…”

Another blood-and-tears indictment began. Phew. I’d escaped disaster.

We soon settled the shop’s affairs, telling others only that an elder at home was seriously ill and we had to return to care for them for a while.

Chief Constable Lin hurried over, looking reluctant to part. “Young Shopkeeper Hu, when will you come back?”

“Lin-dage, I might not come back,” I said apologetically.

His smile froze.

“I’d wanted to wait until we knew each other better before speaking. Is it too late now?” He clenched his fists, his voice hoarse.

Chief Constable Lin had helped me a great deal and was a very good person. But I… could only wave goodbye.

Halfway through our journey, we heard that the emperor was furious and had sent the imperial army to attack Shu.

Young General Jiang was among them.

My heart clenched. I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Several more days passed. Before we’d reached Huzhou, news arrived that the Prince of Shu had been defeated and killed himself.

Before dying, he’d sent the death-sworn retainers kept at his residence to assassinate several military commanders. Young General Jiang had been gravely injured saving a comrade. Whether he would live or die was unknown.

“I’m a eunuch. After I die, there won’t be anyone to burn paper offerings for me. If it’s buried with me, I can be a whole person in my next life…”

“As long as you’re not afraid. Otherwise, I’d have to grow old alone—or perhaps die on the battlefield without even anyone to gather my bones…”

If he were living well in this world, enjoying life with a loving wife and children, I could still let go.

But I could no longer bear the pain of watching him pass away a second time.

Pressing my lips tightly together, I went to tug the hem of Second Brother’s clothes.

He sighed. “Let’s turn back. I’ll go with you.”

The smoke of battle had only just cleared, and the army hadn’t fully withdrawn. We found someone to announce us. A young man came over and looked me up and down. “You say you’re the young general’s fiancée? What’s your name?”

“My name is Hu Tao. Jiang Cheng… calls me Taotao.” Still dressed as a man, I felt a little embarrassed.

Translator’s note: Hu Tao, 胡桃 (hu2 tao2), also happens to mean “walnut.”

It wasn’t easy to see Jiang Cheng. I could only say that.

The young man smiled faintly. “So you’re the Taotao he keeps talking about.”

Second Brother and I hurried after him and saw Jiang Cheng recovering in a tent.

He was still unconscious. The sight of that haggard, pale face instantly reddened my eyes.

Seeing that I wouldn’t let go once I took Jiang Cheng’s hand, Second Brother turned his head aside.

“The assassin’s blade was poisoned. Though the army physician has removed the poison, no one knows when Jiang Cheng will wake.” The young man looked pained. Suddenly remembering something, he took a stack of papers from a bamboo box beside the bed and handed them to me.

“These are letters he wrote whenever he had a little free time. Later, the Prince of Shu struck first, and he never had a chance to send them.”

I opened the pages and saw vigorous, flowing handwriting.

At last, it no longer looked as though a dog had chewed it…

“Taotao: I’ve obtained my parents’ consent. When I return this time, I will marry you as my wife.”

“Taotao: We’ve only been apart a few days, yet the longing is particularly tormenting. Tonight would suit drowning my sorrows in drink. Unfortunately, drinking is forbidden in the army.”

“My longing runs truly deep. You should have returned to Huzhou by now, which greatly eases my heart.”

“Taotao: The Prince of Shu stubbornly resists. Though I promised before to take care of myself, once war begins, life and death are difficult to predict. If we never meet again in this life, I only wish you a lifetime of peace. Do not wait for me.”

Heh. What emotional journey had Jiang Cheng gone through to write that final “Do not wait for me,” cross it out, then add it again?

Wanting to let go but unable to bear it—that really was my xiang-gong’s style, unchanged as ever.

Holding my breath, I managed with difficulty to suppress my tears. I folded the letters neatly and tucked them against my chest.

“May I ask, when the army returns, could we travel with you and care for Jiang Cheng?”

The young man’s military rank wasn’t low. Under his arrangements, our carriage traveled slowly at the rear.

The army physician came every day to examine and treat Jiang Cheng. My task was to care for his body.

The weather was hot and humid. I had to fan him constantly, and every shichen, turn him and wipe the sweat from his back to prevent bedsores.

He couldn’t swallow the brewed medicine when I tried feeding it to him, so I held it in my mouth and passed it to him, mouthful by mouthful.

His pulse gradually steadied, but he simply wouldn’t wake.

Caring for Jiang Cheng throughout the journey, I was the one who got thinner. My face became even more frighteningly pale than his.

In front of the general’s residence.

The young man spoke with the elder General Jiang and handed Jiang Cheng back into his care.

I watched the carriage move slowly into the rear courtyard. I could only leave dejectedly, intending to rent a house nearby and wait for news.

“Miss Hu!” Madam Jiang called behind me.

The corners of her eyes were still wet. “We’ve had you to thank throughout this journey.”

“Cheng’er wanted to marry you as his wife. He knelt outside the study and begged his father for a whole day and night before the general reluctantly agreed. It wasn’t because of your background. In a military family like ours, a man’s life may be lost at any moment. The hardship isn’t something an ordinary woman can endure. Now that we’ve seen your intelligence, resolve, and deep affection for Cheng’er, we’re reassured.”

Madam Jiang smiled bitterly. “But with Cheng’er like this now, Miss Hu… you should find another good man.”

After a moment’s silence, I asked earnestly, “Madam, Jiang Cheng said he would marry me after returning from Shu. Has the household made preparations?”

“The betrothal gifts have long been ready, but…” Madam Jiang looked at me in astonishment, fresh tears glimmering in her eyes. “You’re still willing to marry Cheng’er?”

“Yes. Through life after life, never leaving, never abandoning.”

“Please, General and Madam, grant our wish!”

08

My parents had long known my feelings. Seeing that I still insisted on marrying Jiang Cheng in his half-dead state, they could only let me.

“Second Brother, stop sighing. A bachelor like you wouldn’t understand my feelings.”

After this journey, Second Brother had become much steadier. Hearing me, he looked disdainful. “If I hadn’t insisted on finding someone I liked, you’d have been an aunt long ago.”

Me: …

“I wish you an early fulfillment of that desire.”

In a few more days, I’d be able to put on a red wedding dress and marry my xiang-gong again. Because of the wedding preparations, it had been nearly half a month since I’d seen him.

Though the general’s residence sent me news of Jiang Cheng every other day, I still…

Missed him so much.

The guard who came with a message today brought news: while they were fitting Jiang Cheng’s wedding robes, his fingers had moved slightly.

It might be a sign that he would wake. Or it might… herald that he would never wake again.

My fingers tightened until they were cold.

On the wedding day, I put on delicate makeup, dressed in a phoenix crown and embroidered bridal robes, and happily bid my family farewell. Second Brother carried me on his back into the decorated sedan chair sent by the general’s household.

This time, it wasn’t the crude little chair of my previous life. The eight bearers carried it very steadily. Sitting inside, I didn’t sway at all.

Just thinking that the person marrying me was him filled my heart with so much happiness that it threatened to overflow.

But when we reached the general’s residence, I waited a while, and no one came to receive me.

According to the arrangements, the eldest brother of Jiang Cheng’s generation was supposed to kick the sedan door in his place.

Could it be…

Just as I began to feel lost, an uproar rose from the watching crowd.

I hurriedly lifted my veil to look and saw a sharply jointed hand raise the sedan curtain.

Dressed in red, Jiang Cheng stood before me and smiled faintly. “Kick the sedan door? I couldn’t bear to.”

He covered my head with the veil again and said softly, “Wait for me to lift it tonight.”

Please, bro, who are you trying to act tough for?

If your hands weren’t trembling, your face weren’t white as paper, and you weren’t barely able to stand, I might actually have believed you.

Supported by several guards, Jiang Cheng insisted on holding my hand as we slowly stepped over the brazier and performed the wedding rites amid everyone’s blessings.

As soon as we entered the bridal chamber and the laughing crowd dispersed, Jiang Cheng had barely caught a corner of my veil when he fell straight to the floor.

I hurriedly checked his pulse. It was fairly steady. He’d probably fainted from suddenly exerting himself too much.

By the time I’d managed to move him onto the bed, I was sweating all over.

I had a maid bring water, wrung out a cloth, and wiped the dust from his face.

After a while, Jiang Cheng slowly came around. As soon as he woke, he caught my hand and smiled. “I knew Taotao couldn’t bear to leave me. No matter what happened to me, you’d still marry me.”

My heart aching, I held his hand in return. “When did you wake up?”

“This morning. Through the haze, I heard someone say today was our wedding day. I didn’t want you to be all alone, and suddenly I woke.”

Frustrated, he pounded the bed. “Unfortunately, I have no strength at all. I can’t do anything on our wedding night.”

“We already have heaven and earth to thank for your waking up.” My heart was sweet, though my reply was exasperated. “What else do you want to do?”

He considered seriously. “Didn’t you say I was a little eunuch in our last life? Shouldn’t I make up for everything I owed you, all together in this life?”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Well, thank—you—very—much!”

Still cold all over, he held me tightly, rubbing his newly grown stubble against my hair. Smiling, he said, “Taotao, I’m so happy.”

I smiled sweetly. “So am I.”

All I could see were my xiang-gong’s handsome features and my face reflected in his dark eyes.

I couldn’t see the room all decked out in red, hear the guests’ noisy voices, or smell the strong medicinal herbs in the air.

Between heaven and earth, it seemed there were only him and me.

Through life after life, never leaving, never abandoning.

(The End)