Lady Mei, the White Apparition

“Jiang She, this is your pawn ticket. From today onward, I’m returning it to you. You’re free.”

That winter, his gambler father had sold him to her family’s pawnshop. She was the “ghost-faced young miss” everyone in the city avoided, yet she was good to him alone. No matter how much she gave, however, all she received was his disgust. At last, she wanted to give up—on this, her birthday.

She let him go and returned his pawn ticket. Neither would owe the other anything. From now on, beneath boundless skies and clouds, they would never meet again.

(1)

On the day Mei Yuewan went to the escort agency to find Jiang She, she sat before her bronze mirror and, for the first time, carefully dressed and made herself up.

The person in the mirror had very little color. Or rather, she was so white she was almost transparent.

White hair, white eyebrows, white skin, white lips. Even her pupils were as pale as glass, like a blind person’s.

But Mei Yuewan could see. In fact, she could see very clearly. She seldom looked in the mirror, but now, examining herself carefully, she saw that from head to toe, there wasn’t a single place that wasn’t white. Even the crevices around her nails showed a deathly pallor.

A frightening white. An uncanny white. An inauspicious white—like the white lanterns hanging outside a house in mourning.

She opened the rouge box and stared at the mirror for a moment.

No wonder Jiang She disliked her. She really… looked so much like a monster ah.

Outside, the sun blazed brightly. After finishing her preparations, Mei Yuewan opened a specially made bamboo-framed umbrella as she left, shielding herself completely.

She touched the thin sheet of paper against her chest and thought: no matter what, at least today, Jiang She ought to like her.

Because she was going to give him something.

Arriving at the escort agency, Mei Yuewan walked slowly inside. Her hand holding the umbrella was as pale as snow. Everyone at the agency stopped what they were doing and cast burning gazes at her, along with suppressed, startled whispers—

“Is that… the Mei family’s ‘ghost-faced young miss’?”

“Yes. Why has she come out? The sun’s so strong…”

“She must be here for A-She. Strange. Looking at her like this, she isn’t that frightening.”

…

Mei Yuewan paid them no heed. She walked straight to the far end of the courtyard, where Jiang She stood speaking with someone in crimson. Mei Yuewan recognized her: Gu Yao’er, the little shimei Jiang She had acknowledged at the agency.

Translator’s note: Shimei means a younger female fellow disciple; shixiong is an older male one, and shifu is their martial master.

Perhaps sensing her presence, Jiang She turned just as Mei Yuewan reached him. His expression changed.

The bamboo-framed umbrella lifted slightly, revealing a snow-white face fragrant with powder and rouge: long, fine black brows, beautiful red lips, thick lashes trembling faintly.

Only a few touches of color had been added, yet she seemed transformed, radiating a stunning beauty. She was as lovely as an immortal maiden in a jade palace, with a trace of indescribable, bewitching charm.

Jiang She froze for a moment. At some point, everyone at the agency had gathered around, exclaiming in admiration. Even Gu Yao’er, in her red clothes, stared for a long while.

The sunlight beat down fiercely. Almost imperceptibly, Jiang She stepped forward, using his back to block the scorching sun. Looking down at the person beneath the umbrella, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

Mei Yuewan’s pupils were still as pale as glass. Looking up at Jiang She, she said softly, “Jiang She, today’s my birthday. Will you come home and eat with me?”

“I…” Jiang She paused. “I’m afraid I won’t be going back.”

His tone was a little unnatural. He’d previously said he would be escorting a shipment that day, yet here he was at the agency, chatting with his shimei. Being caught out on the spot made him uncomfortable.

Mei Yuewan didn’t seem to mind. She only smiled gently. “Yes. I knew you wouldn’t come back, so I came to find you.”

Slowly, she reached into the front of her clothes and took out that thin sheet of paper, narrowing her eyes against the breeze slanting through the courtyard.

“Jiang She, this is your pawn ticket. From today onward, I’m returning it to you. You’re free.”

Every word was soft and slow. Yet they fell like thunder, making Jiang She’s expression jolt and the courtyard erupt.

That thin sheet from the Mei pawnshop had restrained Jiang She for decades. Under the pawning rules, he could neither redeem himself nor have anyone else redeem him. Even those at the escort agency who wanted to help couldn’t.

But now Mei Yuewan had taken it out so easily and, before his eyes, said she was returning his freedom.

Jiang She struggled to steady his heaving chest and stared at the face beneath the umbrella. “What do you mean by this?”

Mei Yuewan shook her head. “I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just that there’s no meaning in it anymore…”

She seemed to smile and sigh at once, but a trace of sorrow lay hidden in her glass-pale eyes. “After all these years, I’ve found it meaningless. From now on, go wherever you want. No one will stop you anymore.”

The pawn ticket was pressed into Jiang She’s palm. The figure beneath the bamboo umbrella suddenly seemed so frail.

“It’s for you. You surely haven’t prepared a birthday gift for me, but it doesn’t matter. Giving you one amounts to the same thing.”

“Because this is also a gift for myself.” Her snow-white face drew a deep breath. Her skirts stirred in the wind, carrying a little melancholy and a little release.

“Jiang She, you don’t know, do you? Liking you… is truly exhausting. I seem to have no strength left, and I don’t want to keep waiting day after day. Let’s stop here. I’ll return your pawn ticket. Go and make your way wherever you like. Let’s pretend we never knew each other. I won’t keep thinking of you, and you can stop hating me. All right?”

Jiang She held the pawn ticket blankly, staring motionlessly at the person beneath the umbrella. His mind seemed empty.

He ought to have been ecstatic. Yet he couldn’t say a word. Instead, an indescribable sense of absurdity rose from the soles of his feet.

The blazing sun scorched his back, but in his daze, he had returned to a winter day many years earlier, with snow filling the sky and a bitter wind howling.

He heard a child’s tender voice beside his ear, clear and light, its laughter carrying gentle kindness.

“Die, look. That xiao-gege’s eyebrows are so beautiful.”

Translator’s note: Die means “Father.” Xiao-gege, literally “little older brother,” is a child’s affectionate address for a slightly older boy.

With a ringing sound, the image fell into the snow. Everything broke off abruptly, stopping just there.

(2)

That winter in Xunyang, the snow lay three feet deep, and it was colder than in past years. Inside the Mei pawnshop, two figures, one large and one small, argued below the counter.

The larger was a notorious local gambler. The smaller was his son, who looked only seven or eight. His clothes were thin and worn, but his features were extremely resolute as he clung tightly to his father.

“No. You can’t pawn them. Niang said these are the last valuable things we have. If you pawn them, we won’t even be able to get through New Year…”

Translator’s note: Niang (or A-niang) means “Mother.”

His gambler father was viciously irritable. Without mercy, he kicked his son aside. “Get lost, get lost! Go die somewhere else. Don’t get in the way of me making a fortune!”

As he spoke, he shook out his bundle, scattering a jumble of objects over the counter. The manager frowned and shook his head, but the gambler didn’t care. Sweeping the broken silver and tickets into his clothes, he hurried toward the door, eager to change his luck and pursue his “great money-making plan.”

The boy’s face went pale. He failed to hold his father back and was instead thrown to the floor, where he sat beneath the counter for a long time, unable to get up.

Just then, a voice came from one side of the hall.

“Die, look. That xiao-gege’s eyebrows are so beautiful.”

Not only did the pale-faced boy look toward the voice, but the gambler stopped in the snow outside and turned back sharply.

The Mei pawnshop had a frail young miss, Master Mei’s only daughter. He held her in the palm of his hand and gave her whatever she wanted. People in Xunyang said that even if she asked for stars from the sky, he’d find a way to pluck them down.

The wind and snow howled. The gambler’s instincts were right. The little girl speaking was wrapped in a fox-fur cloak and holding a wealthy gentleman’s hand. She was the Mei family’s daughter, Mei Yuewan.

Master Mei looked down and asked, “Do you like them?”

The girl was still young and didn’t understand complicated matters. She simply nodded instinctively. “I do. They look as though they’ve been painted.”

Black and thick, spirited as fine swords, so handsome. Unlike hers, which were a blur of white.

Letting go of her father’s hand, she skipped forward like a little deer and gently helped the stunned boy up.

Meanwhile, Master Mei had turned toward the gambler in the snow outside, his gaze complicated. “This is… your son?”

The gambler had already hurried over, nodding and bowing. “Yes, yes. My worthless boy.”

From the corner of his eye, Master Mei glanced at the children. Seeing his daughter’s smiling face, his own lips curved slightly, and an idea formed.

“This little son of yours… would you pawn him?”

The slow question sounded in the cold wind. The gambler’s eyes lit up, and he nodded vigorously without thinking. “I’ll pawn him, I’ll pawn him! It’s rare for him to catch Master Mei’s eye. Nothing could be better than your taking him. Only, don’t be fooled by his age. He’s clever, and naturally worth more than those lifeless objects. As for the price…”

Frowning, Master Mei raised a hand to interrupt. He took a money pouch from his clothes and casually tossed it into the snow. The gambler hurried to pick it up. When he opened it—good heavens, a pouch full of gold leaves! His eyes almost dazzled.

“Go to the counter and complete the pawn ticket.”

The cold voice sounded above his head. The gambler cared nothing for its disgust. Delighted, he pocketed the pouch and readily agreed.

Once the ticket was marked, the transaction was complete. Below the counter, the boy in shabby clothes went deathly pale, pushed away Mei Yuewan’s supporting hand, and cried out in a changed voice.

“Die!”

“What are you yelling for? I’ve made a fortune! I’ll redeem you after making a quick round!”

As though afraid Master Mei would change his mind, the gambler vanished into the snow with the money. In a blink, he was gone. Behind him, several assistants held back the little son he’d pawned, whose cries tore at the heart.

“Die! Die, come back! Don’t leave me!”

Master Mei had already led his daughter into an inner room. He watched from a distance without much expression.

Then he suddenly stroked the top of her head and said gently, “Yuewan, I’ve found you a companion. Someone to talk to and play with you. Are you happy?”

The little face wrapped in fox fur stared blankly at the hall, its long lashes trembling. She was too young to understand what pawning meant. Hearing her father’s question, she hurriedly looked up, puzzled. “I’m happy. But why is xiao-gege… unhappy?”

Master Mei smiled silently and looked out at the falling snow, his gaze distant.

“As long as you’re happy… Heaven won’t let everyone in this world have their wishes. Aren’t you afflicted with a strange illness, too? Everyone has their own fate. One day, he’ll accept his.”

(3)

After being pawned to the Mei family, Jiang She neither ate nor drank for two full days. His eyes bloodshot, he hoarsely demanded to go home, like a little beast ready to bite anyone it saw.

Home? Master Mei snorted coldly. What home did he have left? This was his home, and the young miss was his only master.

Jiang She breathed rapidly, his thin chest trembling violently. Frightened, Mei Yuewan shrank behind her father. Those beautiful eyebrows suddenly seemed terribly fierce.

Dimly, she seemed to understand something. She shook her father’s sleeve and pleaded, “I don’t want xiao-gege to play with me anymore. I don’t. Let him go home…”

After comforting his daughter, Master Mei looked at Jiang She and considered briefly. Then, in the tone of an adult negotiating with another, he said, “Very well, little lad. I’ll give you a chance. Go find your father now. Find him and get that pouch of gold leaves back, and this transaction will be canceled. Return the money, clear the ticket, and you can go home immediately.”

Jiang She stared at him for a long time, like a wolf cub, then agreed almost viciously. “Fine. You said it!”

Through the ice and snow, a carriage slowly followed the boy ahead. Inside, Mei Yuewan occasionally poked out her head and looked with concern at that thin, lonely figure.

Gambling houses filled the city. Jiang She had clearly performed this task of “finding Father” many times. Familiar with the way, he turned into one establishment after another. Though anxiety burned inside him, his face was calm and resolute, unlike a child’s. Watching from the carriage, even Master Mei nodded with a silent sigh. His wish to keep this boy beside Yuewan grew stronger.

At last, in the twelfth gambling house, Jiang She found his red-eyed father. More precisely, the two emerged from it struggling with each other.

“What gold leaves? I lost them all! It’s all your fault, you ill-omened brat. As soon as you came, I lost several rounds in a row. Get away from me…”

Cursing, Jiang’s father kicked him into the snow. But Jiang She sprang up again, murderous and fierce beyond his years.

“I don’t care. Borrow the money or do whatever you have to. Redeem me first. Only you can redeem me. I’ll repay you when I’m older. Then I’ll take A-niang and my little brothers and sisters far away, and we’ll have nothing to do with you…”

The two figures, large and small, wrestled and struggled. A crowd of onlookers quickly gathered in the snow. Mei Yuewan leaned out of the window. Through the crowd, she saw Jiang She clinging desperately to a leg, refusing to let go. His father, frantic to escape, grew furious and kicked him viciously, again and again.

“Let go! Let go of me!”

Across the vast white snow, sharp-eyed Mei Yuewan suddenly spotted red spreading in a trail behind Jiang She. Her heart lurched, and she couldn’t stop herself from trying to jump from the carriage.

A little deer-like figure squeezed through the crowd, followed by a man in elegant, expensive robes. His voice sounded coldly over the snow.

“He belongs to my Mei family. If you kick him to death, will you pay for him?”

Jiang’s father stopped. Turning, he breathed out a cloud of white vapor, his teeth chattering. “Master Mei, I… I’m disciplining this disobedient wretch for you.”

The richly dressed man’s long brows knitted. Hands behind his back, he asked coldly, “Do you want to redeem him?”

Jiang’s father hurriedly waved his hands. “No, no, no. Being able to stay beside Master Mei is a blessing earned over several lifetimes. I won’t redeem him. I won’t…”

As though truly afraid Master Mei would demand the redemption money, he suddenly spotted a gap, pushed through the crowd, and fled.

On the ground, Jiang She’s expression changed. Ignoring his pain, he gritted his teeth and struggled to rise. “Come back. Don’t go…”

Wrapped in fox fur, Mei Yuewan hurried to support him. Her small hand instinctively covered his bleeding wound, as though the pain were her own. “Xiao-gege, xiao-gege, are you all right…?”

But Jiang She shoved her away like a mad thing. “Get away! Don’t touch me!”

Master Mei caught his stumbling daughter with a large hand. Looking down at the disheveled boy, he said each word into the wind:

“Little lad, I gave you a chance. You heard what your father said. Will you accept it?”

(4)

Of course Jiang She wouldn’t accept it. Shut alone in a dark room, he kept struggling and shouting late into the night.

Mei Yuewan, however, took a little lantern and secretly crept to the door at midnight. After listening against it for a long time, she reached into her pocket.

A small opening at the bottom of the door was used to pass in daily meals. Now a snow-white little hand reached through it, palm open, accompanied by a soft, tiny voice.

“Xiao-gege, here’s some candy. Don’t cry.”

The room immediately fell silent. After an unknown stretch of time, Mei Yuewan felt someone pick up the candy. Before she could be pleased, it was thrown back through the opening.

“I don’t want your candy. Fake kindness.” After a pause, the person inside said hoarsely, “And I’m not crying.”

Mei Yuewan wasn’t angry. Wrapped in her fox-fur cloak, she picked up the candy, brought her lantern back to the door, and sat leaning against it. She blew on the sweet, unwrapped it, and put it in her own mouth, saying nothing for a long while.

She looked up at the stars in the sky, thinking who knew what. Only after the candy had dissolved did she take out another and offer it through the opening. As expected, Jiang She soon threw it back.

Mei Yuewan pressed her lips together, picked it up, ate it herself, and offered a fresh one. Jiang She threw that one back, too. After several repetitions, the person inside finally lost patience. “Are you ever going to stop?”

Leaning against the door, her long lashes trembling, Mei Yuewan was like a little deer. Her voice tried to please him.

“Xiao-gege, I have lots and lots of candy. You can’t throw it all away. As much as the stars in the sky. Candy is sweet. My father says that when you eat it, you won’t feel sad or want to cry. I’ll bring you some every day. Stay and play with me, all right?”

“Get lost! Who wants your candy?” Jiang She clenched his fist and pounded the floor, his voice vicious. But as he shouted, tears began falling uncontrollably. He covered his eyes. “I want to go home. I want to go home…”

As though hearing the tears in his voice, Mei Yuewan reached inside again, a little flustered. “Xiao-gege, what’s wrong? Don’t cry…”

Before she’d finished, she gave a small cry. Jiang She had bitten her hand hard. As he bit, he cursed indistinctly, “White-haired freak! White rat! White blind thing! Let me go home!”

The pain made tears stream down Mei Yuewan’s face. But afraid of bringing people over, she didn’t dare cry loudly. She could only struggle, feeling wronged. “Don’t call me that. My father says people who call me those things are bad…”

“Who told you I was good? If you don’t let me go, I’ll bite you every day!”

Jiang She hadn’t properly seen Mei Yuewan before. Only after being brought to the Mei residence and locked up had he seen, at close range, the entirely white body beneath her fox fur. That uncanny sight chilled him and made him even less willing to stay as her companion.

Now he held her hand and bit for a long time before releasing it. Spitting out a mouthful of blood, he ignored the sobbing outside and said viciously, “Go tell your father. Let him beat me to death. Even if I die, I won’t stay with a monster like you!”

Jiang She had steeled himself for a fight to the death, fish dead or net torn. What came, however, was an outcome he hadn’t expected. The door opened. Master Mei stood there with a dark expression, the snowstorm behind him bringing out a trace of weariness on his face.

“Go. Just this once. I’ll consider it a losing business deal. Don’t appear before me again.”

The sudden reversal left Jiang She at a loss. Then he saw a head peeking from behind Master Mei: snow-white cheeks wrapped in fox fur, the wound on her hand carefully hidden in her sleeve, glass-pale eyes timid, yet smiling at him.

He understood at once. His lips parted, and an indescribable feeling rose inside him.

A carriage took Jiang She straight home. Before he left, Mei Yuewan remembered something, took out another candy, and ran after him to hand it up.

This time, Jiang She accepted it without hesitation. His thin lips pressed together. “Thank you. When I have time… I’ll come and play with you.”

But that “thank you” had barely drifted into the wind before, at nightfall, the carriage brought Jiang She back. He was already delirious with fever, lying insensible inside, his face covered in tear tracks as he rambled.

How absurd could the world be? Jiang She had returned home, but one step too late. The house was empty. Everyone had already gone.

The gambler had finally lost everything. Before the creditors came a second time, he’d taken the whole family and fled overnight, leaving Xunyang altogether. He hadn’t even thought of the son he’d sold to the pawnshop.

In this discordant world, how cheap a human life was ah. It didn’t even weigh as much as a single die in a gambler’s hand.

The Mei carriage driver said Jiang She had been completely stunned. He’d swayed, then suddenly fallen face-first into the snow, as though dead. Terrified and at a loss, the driver had hurried to bring him back.

The wolf cub who’d been so full of life the previous night seemed to have lost his soul the next. He lay on his back on the bed, staring straight at the canopy above.

Mei Yuewan secretly came to see him at midnight. Climbing onto the bed, she reached to wipe the corners of his eyes and touched cool wetness.

“No one will ever redeem me again. I don’t have a home. I don’t have A-niang. I don’t have little brothers or sisters… I don’t have anything.”

The ghostlike voice echoed through the chilly, quiet night. Mei Yuewan’s nose stung, and she leaned forward. Before Jiang She could react, sweetness had entered his mouth. A soft little hand covered it, preventing him from spitting it out.

His pupils widened sharply. In a burst of anger, he bit those pale, delicate fingers. Mei Yuewan collapsed against him in pain, her head resting on his chest. But she gritted her teeth and refused to let go.

She said, “Xiao-gege, I… I can be your family, too. This can be your home. We have lots of people here. They can all play with you…”

But Jiang She hated her bitterly. “Who wants to play with you? Why did you have to say my eyebrows were beautiful? Why did you harm me?”

His burning voice came from beneath her palm. Tears filled Mei Yuewan’s eyes, her fine brows white as frost. “I didn’t harm you. I really thought they were beautiful. When I look in the mirror, I can’t even see my own eyebrows clearly…”

“Shut up!” Jiang She gritted his teeth. The more he thought, the more he hated her, and he began cursing wildly. “You white-haired freak! White rat! White blind thing!”

He cursed for half the night. Mei Yuewan lay against him and listened without a word for half the night. Only when Jiang She ran out of strength and the candy had dissolved did he finally close his eyes, as though truly accepting his fate.

“Do you know?”

As the canopy stirred, every word he spoke carried a sweet scent. Yet as they landed on Mei Yuewan’s fingertips, they felt like tiny silver needles, piercing her with pain.

“Some people are born to bring disaster to others. Just like you, you white-haired freak.”

“Whatever they don’t have, they covet from others and take for themselves.”

“I really hate you… So, so much…”

(5)

Later, Mei Yuewan learned that something called “dislike” could stay the same, day after day, for ten years.

And “liking” could do the same.

Jiang She stayed with the Mei family, but unwillingly. However Mei Yuewan accommodated him or tried to please him, he never gave her a single kind look.

As he grew older, he came to understand that most of the blame for his abandonment lay with the man he no longer wished to call “Die.” But where were his father and the rest of his family? He couldn’t find a single relative. All the resentment in his heart needed an outlet, so naturally, he transferred it to the person at the origin of everything.

That stifling gloom finally began to change when he met Gu Yao’er.

Gu Yao’er was the daughter of the head of a large escort agency in Xunyang, about the same age as Mei Yuewan. Her kite fell into the Mei courtyard. Unconcerned with formalities, she actually crawled straight through the dog hole in the wall to retrieve it. When she looked up, she met Jiang She’s astonished eyes.

“Yaomei…”

Translator’s note: Yaomei means “youngest little sister.”

Gu Yao’er was lively and pretty, and looked very much like his youngest sister in his memories. Seeing her seemed to take him back to the past. He could almost smell the rice cooking on the stove at home.

When Mei Yuewan came looking, it was dusk. A boy and girl sat in the slanting sunlight, their clothes fluttering, holding a kite and laughing together. Their close silhouettes looked like a painting.

Standing in the wind beneath her specially made bamboo umbrella, she suddenly didn’t know whether to approach. But they had already looked up and seen her.

The girl in crimson sprang lightly to her feet and patted her skirts, raising her brows with a natural charm. “Then it’s settled, my future little shixiong. I’ll wait for you at the escort agency!”

Without paying attention to Mei Yuewan’s reaction, she picked up her kite and bent to leave through the dog hole. Startled, Jiang She called out, “Hey! You don’t need to crawl through again. Just use the front gate.”

The crimson figure waved, laughing like silver bells. “It’s so far, and such a detour. This way’s much quicker. My father says people of the martial world don’t fuss over little things.”

She also kept saying “my father says,” but was entirely different from Mei Yuewan’s sheltered young-lady manner—far more carefree and unrestrained. And clearly, Jiang She, who burst out laughing, preferred that temperament.

Once she had disappeared completely, Jiang She turned and met Mei Yuewan’s gaze beneath the umbrella from across the courtyard. Suddenly, everything was quiet.

That day seemed to be the first time Jiang She had spoken to Mei Yuewan in a pleading tone. Sunset clouds filled the sky, stretching his shadow very, very long.

“I want to join the Gu Escort Agency, learn martial arts, and become an escort.”

In the wind, Mei Yuewan was silent for a long time. Finally, she blinked her snow-white lashes. “All right. I’ll speak to Father…”

He approached her with a little joy, but she suddenly reached out and caught his clothes. “Then… will you still come back?”

Her long lashes trembled. Her upturned face was pale and delicate, like a nervous, helpless little deer. Jiang She’s heart suddenly softened. He gave a low snort. “Of course I’ll come back.”

Before Mei Yuewan could smile, his mouth habitually got ahead of her. “Your family still holds my deed of sale. Where could I go?”

The moment he’d said it, he regretted it. Sure enough, the snow-white face froze. She released his clothes, and her expression dimmed again. Jiang She’s palm stirred, and he cursed himself inwardly.

Again. Always this. Why couldn’t he speak to her properly? He hadn’t meant to wound or mock her, yet whatever he said always came out wrong.

He couldn’t understand it and didn’t want to keep thinking. An inexplicable irritation rose in his chest. As he had countless times before, he left her behind and walked away without looking back.

How was he supposed to face her? Perhaps, from that snowy winter day in childhood onward, she had become a dead knot he could never untie.

(6)

Entering the escort agency was like entering a new world for Jiang She. He had martial brothers, family as dear as his youngest sister, new knowledge and skills, and more laughter.

He went to the agency more and more often and returned later and later. Often, deep into the night, he’d reach his room and suddenly discover a faintly glowing lantern. Beneath it sat a solitary, quiet figure by his door, slowly sucking a candy as she waited for him.

Mei Yuewan like that always reminded Jiang She of her leaning against his door in childhood, comforting him with those childish words: “Candy is sweet. My father says that when you eat it, you won’t feel sad or want to cry…”

His heart ached inexplicably. He didn’t want to examine it. Each time, he only told her, “You don’t need to do this. It’s late, and the dew is heavy. Your body won’t bear it.”

And each time, Mei Yuewan would raise her head and smile at him with her glass-pale eyes. “I’m not waiting for you. I’m watching the stars. The stars outside your door are the most numerous and brightest.”

What could Jiang She say to an answer like that?

Only once did she answer differently. That day, Mei Yuewan seemed a little dejected. Leaning against the door, she almost sighed.

“Actually, I secretly went to the escort agency today. I saw you practicing, shooting arrows, and laughing with them… I really wanted to come over. But I couldn’t even step out from beneath my umbrella. The sun was so strong, and I didn’t dare let others see me. Those ordinary things you do every day seem so far beyond my reach. Perhaps what I feel most is envy…”

As she grew older, her symptoms grew more severe. Her whole body became almost transparent with whiteness. Naturally, she knew how uncanny she appeared to others, so she hardly ever went out. But after Jiang She joined the escort agency, she was so lonely that she couldn’t help going to see him.

Seeming to sense her feelings, Jiang She hesitated. After a long while, he sat beside her and said:

“Your illness will get better. There are countless miraculous medicines in this world. One of them must be able to cure you.”

Mei Yuewan lowered her head and murmured, “Mm.” In truth, she wished more that he’d say he would return earlier and spend more time beside her. But Jiang She wouldn’t say those things.

Neither would she.

Several years after he began studying at the agency, on the day marking the beginning of autumn, Jiang She accepted an assignment and left Xunyang on his first escort mission.

Only after Gu Yao’er’s father, Chief Gu, firmly guaranteed that he would bring Jiang She back to the Mei family exactly as he’d left did Master Mei allow it.

Unfortunately, though Jiang She was restrained and calm when he left Xunyang, with truly no intention of “escaping,” on the return journey after completing the escort, something came over him. He could no longer suppress those surging impulses.

Acting on that impulse, he secretly rode away from the party. When the agency men pursued him, he fled without choosing his path, tumbled down a cliff, and broke both legs.

It was as though heaven had played an enormous joke on him. Brought back to Xunyang, he lay on the bed, no longer feeling any pain. His heart was dead ash.

Gu Yao’er came to see him. He said hollowly, “How could I not want to escape? I dream of finding A-niang and my little brothers and sisters…”

Perhaps only Gu Yao’er, whom he always called Yaomei, could understand that bone-deep longing for family. Turning away with tears in her eyes, she suddenly beat her fists against several fellow disciples who’d come with her. “Why did you chase him? Couldn’t you let him go? Must you keep him trapped in Xunyang for his entire life?”

Those fellow disciples who spent every day with Jiang She lowered their heads, full of guilt. “Shifu told us over and over to bring him back. He made an agreement with Master Mei. He can’t break faith with him…”

Amid the commotion, a delicate figure remained hidden by the door. Only after everyone left did she emerge quietly and approach Jiang She’s bed, step by step.

Her snow-white lashes trembled. She looked him over from head to foot, her gaze lingering for who knew how long, until he couldn’t help asking hoarsely, “Have you looked enough? What’s there to see in a ridiculous cripple like me?”

Mei Yuewan sat beside the bed and slowly took his hand. He moved but didn’t pull free, so she held it more tightly, even pressing it to her cheek. Warm breath escaped her lips. Each word carried both gentleness and unwavering strength.

“You’re not a cripple. I’ll make you stand again. You’ll walk, run, and practice swordsmanship at the agency, just as before.”

Only then did a tear finally fall, sliding into the hollow of Jiang She’s neck.

He blinked. His heart filled with mist, as though the plum rains of Jiangnan had begun to fall.

Translator’s note: Mei (梅) means “plum,” so the plum rains carry her surname.

(7)

The recovery was so very long. Every day, Mei Yuewan personally applied Jiang She’s medicine, supported him as he walked in the courtyard, and massaged his unfeeling muscles at night. Sometimes, too tired to return to her room, she simply slept beside him fully clothed.

On the flower-lined path, Jiang She fell again and again, then rose again and again. His moods fluctuated. One day, when he’d finally managed a hundred steps, his legs suddenly began shaking uncontrollably. At last, he became unbearably irritable and shoved Mei Yuewan away.

“Get lost. Stop bothering with me. Give up on this useless cripple…”

Mei Yuewan held him up tightly, her face pale, shaking her head. Jiang She turned vicious. “Let go. Let go of me!”

His body swayed. As he spoke, they fell together, locked in each other’s arms. Dust rose, mingling with Mei Yuewan’s panicked tears.

“I won’t let go. I’ll never let go. Even if you’re really lame, I’ll look after you for the rest of your life…”

She had fallen against him but still clung desperately to his hand. After a long time, his other arm slowly rose to hold her.

“What am I to do? This stubbornness of yours is still as annoying as when we were little…”

Day after day passed. In the quiet of night, Jiang She would gaze for a long time at the sleeping, snow-white face beside him by the moonlight spilling through the lattice window.

Without his realizing, something was quietly changing…

Just as his legs grew better by the day, recovering to seventy or eighty percent, Gu Yao’er visited the Mei residence and spoke with him. After she left, Mei Yuewan brought nourishing soup, only to be frightened by Jiang She’s icy gaze.

“Did your father tell you he was worried that once I recovered, I’d spend all day at the agency ignoring you again, or think of escaping? Did he tell you to put medicine in my soup so my legs would stay crippled forever?”

Mei Yuewan’s face paled, and her hands almost lost their grip on the bowl. Remembering the look Gu Yao’er had given her while leaving, she understood. She must have overheard her father’s complaints and made Jiang She misunderstand.

“No. That’s not it. My father was only talking nonsense. He didn’t really mean to…”

Before she finished, Jiang She abruptly raised his hand and knocked the bowl away. Porcelain flew, and she almost cried out. But he looked up at her, gritting his teeth in hatred.

“Why can’t I escape? Why must I stay in your Mei household forever, an eagle with broken wings in your cage? Even if you haven’t really drugged me, how are the other things any different? Holding my pawn ticket, making an agreement with my shifu, trapping me in Xunyang—are those things imaginary?”

Some things couldn’t be thought of or mentioned. Like a fuse, they brought all the past rushing back, completely washing away the warmth that had quietly begun to grow.

Under Jiang She’s roar, Mei Yuewan stood rigid for a long time. Her white lashes trembled. In the end, she said nothing, only crouched to collect the broken porcelain.

“I’ll bring you another bowl. Calm down. Later, I’ll massage your legs and help you walk around the courtyard twice more…”

“No need. Stop pretending. I don’t need anything anymore.”

The cold voice interrupted her. Jiang She met her eyes. “The Gu Escort Agency will send people to take me there tomorrow. You won’t need to do any of this again.”

Mei Yuewan’s hand shook, and a shard cut her fingertip. “But you haven’t completely…”

“Near enough. Should I stay here until one day I slip up and get drugged lame? You can guarantee you won’t do it, but can you guarantee your father won’t?”

Under his sharp, repeated questions, Mei Yuewan’s lips moved, but no sound came. She lowered her head. Something fell onto the broken porcelain and mingled with the beads of blood seeping from her cut finger, clear and crimson.

Forcing himself to look away, Jiang She gripped the bedding hard. Only after the sounds behind him finally ceased did he pull the quilt over his head and face and release a painful sob into the boundless darkness.

For half a month, Jiang She didn’t return to the Mei household. Mei Yuewan stopped her father from going to the agency to demand an explanation. Then, secretly opening her bamboo umbrella, she slipped out unnoticed.

Jiang She’s legs had long since healed. As soon as he stepped out of the agency, this was what he saw.

Mei Yuewan had fallen to the ground. A group of naughty children surrounded her, throwing little stones and singing mocking rhymes. Some even tried to snatch the bamboo umbrella she held tightly.

“Ugly thing, white-haired freak! The Mei family has a ghostly young miss…”

Curled on the ground, Mei Yuewan dodged and clutched her umbrella, terrified of even a little sunlight reaching her. She pleaded desperately. “No. Don’t take my umbrella. I’m not a ghostly young miss. Please…”

Jiang She’s pupils contracted. Hot blood rushed to his head. Without thinking, he ran forward, grabbed several of the children, and flung them aside. “Get away! All of you, get away! Don’t touch her!”

The children turned pale with fright and scattered. Mei Yuewan clutched her wobbling umbrella, cold sweat streaming down her face. Before she could see Jiang She clearly, an outer robe descended from above and wrapped her tightly. His hand covered hers on the umbrella, and his furious voice sounded beside her ear.

“Don’t speak. Who told you to go out alone? Do you know how dangerous it is?!”

Wrapped so completely in Jiang She’s robe that no sunlight could enter, Mei Yuewan finally felt a little better. After recovering for a while, she murmured from inside, “I… I wanted to see whether your legs had healed…”

Jiang She paused, then snapped out of habit, “Of course they have. It’s not as if the bones were ground to powder…”

But as he spoke, he unconsciously pulled Mei Yuewan closer. His chest rested against her head. Only after a long while did he say, “Hold your umbrella properly. I’ll carry you home on my back.”

(8)

The setting sun sank westward, and wind swept the long street. Their overlapping silhouettes swayed, edged in gold, dreamlike and unreal.

On the way home, Jiang She asked Mei Yuewan at least dozens of times whether she still felt unwell. Each time, she answered patiently, and only then did his expression improve a little. Finally, he snorted, who knew whom he was blaming.

“Your father has given you so much medicine. Has none of it helped?”

Mei Yuewan was silent for a long time. Just when Jiang She thought she wouldn’t answer, she suddenly spoke from his back. “It doesn’t help. Because this isn’t an illness at all.”

“Then what is it?” Jiang She froze.

“Probably… karma.”

The long wind brushed Mei Yuewan’s skirts. Her slender arms circled Jiang She’s neck, and a quiet sigh drifted into the sunset as she revealed the secret she had never volunteered before…

Mei Yuewan had not actually been born with her “uncanny condition.” Everything had begun with a white fox.

A snow-white fox of unknown origin had slipped into her family’s library. Sitting in various corners, it held books and read them with relish. It didn’t take human form, merely using furry paws to pick up volume after volume. Its reflection beneath the window in the moonlight was deeply eerie.

The first time Mei Yuewan’s mother encountered it, she was nearly frightened to death. The white fox was perceptive: it immediately dropped the book and fled. But a few days later, servants would again report in panic that they’d seen the book-stealing fox.

At the time, Mei Yuewan’s mother was six months pregnant. Nothing could be allowed to go wrong. The fox had the whole household on edge. Finally, Master Mei could no longer sit still. He invited a celestial master from Qishan to lay a secret magical array. Sure enough, the white fox fell into the trap.

That night, the cold wind howled. The white fox fought desperately to escape the array. Though it saved its life, Master Mei shot out one of its eyes. Blood splashed, and its piercing scream echoed over the Mei residence for a long time.

Wounded, the white fox fled. Before leaving, it opened its remaining eye wide and gave Master Mei a venomous look. Even he, a seasoned merchant normally unshaken by sudden changes, felt his heart jolt.

Several months passed in a blink. The white fox never reappeared. Master Mei gradually relaxed, thinking the matter had finally passed and all was calm.

Madam Mei’s delivery date also approached. On the night she gave birth to Mei Yuewan, something no one had expected happened: the white fox returned.

The one-eyed snow fox had clearly come prepared. Seizing its moment, it bit the midwife’s hand and caught the falling swaddled baby in its mouth, its eye glowing with resentment.

As everyone in the room turned pale, it bit the baby girl hard before Master Mei could enter. Then it sprang out the window and vanished.

That bite left no blood on Mei Yuewan’s body, but instantly turned her entirely “white,” from head to toe.

Madam Mei, on the bed, took one look, screamed, and fainted. Master Mei lifted his beloved daughter, who’d undergone such a horrifying change in her swaddling. His hands shook uncontrollably.

Already, servants in the distance were shouting in panic: Fire! Fire! Flames soared from the Mei family’s library. In a single night, it burned to nothing…

The white fox’s revenge was so devastating that no one could bear to see it. Losing the library was the smaller matter. What mattered most were Master Mei’s wife and daughter. His daughter had been afflicted from birth, and his wife, terribly frightened, died not long afterward. Suddenly left alone, Master Mei held his infant daughter and soaked his clothes with tears.

On one hand, he hated the white fox bitterly. On the other, he blamed his own rashness for bringing disaster upon his family. Filled with guilt, he never remarried. He devoted himself to caring for his only daughter, attending to every detail and granting every request.

He also spent a fortune hiring celestial masters to capture that snow-white fox. But years of searching yielded nothing. His hatred of white foxes led him to have many fox-fur cloaks made for Mei Yuewan from childhood onward, venting the fire in his heart.

As a child, Mei Yuewan hadn’t known the story and had loved the beautiful fox furs her father gave her. But after learning the source of her “uncanny condition,” she never wore them again. She begged her father to stop hunting down white foxes everywhere, stripping their skins and tearing apart their bones.

She only felt that somewhere unseen, cause and effect turned in a cycle. After all the turmoil, it was difficult to say who was right or wrong. But she didn’t want to remain entangled in it, unable to escape.

“So this isn’t an illness. It’s karma that no miraculous physician in the world can cure. Perhaps for my whole life… I can only be a monster who never sees daylight.”

In the sunset, Mei Yuewan lay against Jiang She’s neck. Tears spilled from her eyes, soaking little by little into his heart. Suddenly, he growled, filled with an indescribable emotion.

“What nonsense! What damned karma? There must be a way. There must… This is outrageous. Don’t let me catch that beast!”

Amid his furious curses, Mei Yuewan’s snow-white lashes trembled. A strange warmth rose in her chest, making her press a little closer to him, then closer still.

Later, Mei Yuewan kept thinking: if time could have stopped on that breezy afternoon in the slanting sun, if he’d kept carrying her and that road had never ended, how wonderful it would have been…

Unfortunately, there were no ifs. The floating clouds drifted onward to her birthday, when she returned his pawn ticket. From then on, neither owed the other anything. Everything ended there.

(9)

At the Mei residence, separated by a screen, Jiang She came to bid Mei Yuewan farewell.

When she’d gone to the escort agency to return the pawn ticket, she’d carefully made herself up for the first time. Now her skin was red, swollen, and ulcerated. Sitting behind the screen, she didn’t want Jiang She to see her like this. Nor was there any need to see him again.

Jiang She was about to leave Xunyang to search for his family. Now that the day he’d longed for had truly arrived, he no longer knew what he felt.

“Why did you suddenly… Was it just because I didn’t agree to come home and spend your birthday with you?”

In the end, he couldn’t hold back. Gripping his sword, he asked in a slightly trembling voice.

The other side of the screen was silent for a long time. Mei Yuewan seemed to laugh softly. “Perhaps. Perhaps I finally realized that no matter how much I do, I’ll never truly have you come to me. You know my health is poor. I’m tired now and have no strength to do more… Better to let go.”

Jiang She’s breath caught. He stepped forward, his throat moving, but ultimately said nothing.

Inside his clothes was the birthday gift he’d intended to give her personally: a plum-blossom hairpin he’d chosen with great care. He thought it suited her. But he probably could no longer give it to her.

How could he explain that all these years, he’d never spent her birthday with her only because fate had played a cruel trick? Her birthday happened to be the same as his mother’s. How absurd. How could he tell her that private anguish? How could he completely undo that knot in his heart?

After everything, it was still he himself… who had hurt her.

Behind the screen, Mei Yuewan spoke quietly, as though she’d seen through something.

“Everything is cause and effect. Back then, my father shot out one of the white fox’s eyes and brought a lifetime of regret upon himself. I carelessly praised your eyebrows and left you trapped unhappily in the Mei household for decades. Now, I truly don’t want to repeat the same mistake. Rather than look at each other with mutual dislike, better to let you go far away. Let this karma end here. You won’t hate me anymore, will you?”

Jiang She’s nose stung. He shook his head unconsciously. Something was about to escape his lips, but Mei Yuewan gently interrupted.

“Young Hero Jiang, it’s getting late. Be on your way, before my father changes his mind… The future can’t be counted on. Beyond high mountains and long rivers, take care.”

She suppressed her heaving chest and tried to keep her voice calm. But pain still swept over her, reminding her that she had little time left to live. Letting Jiang She go could no longer be delayed.

Her father’s sorrowful words seemed to echo in her ears.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let you be lonely. Even after you’re gone, I’ll make that boy Jiang She guard your grave for the rest of his life. You like him so much. With him keeping you company, you won’t be alone beneath the Nine Springs…”

Everyone had to die. But how could she bear to make Jiang She guard her grave all his life? He still had so much life ahead, so many wishes unfulfilled. She shouldn’t hold him back. Let him go. The farther, the better. Let him see the vast skies outside in her place.

Warm incense smoke curled through the room, and sorrow filled every corner.

“Is there anything else you want to say to me?” Jiang She tightened his grip on his sword and forced out each word.

“No.” The voice was soft. After a pause, it became softer still. “Young Hero Jiang, thank you for keeping me company all these years.”

The hand on the sword tightened abruptly. Hearing that unfamiliar form of address, dark waves surged in Jiang She’s heart, choking him until he could scarcely breathe.

Separated by a screen, neither could see the other. Mei Yuewan couldn’t see the tears in Jiang She’s eyes. Jiang She couldn’t see her gently place a candy in her mouth, or the silent grief beneath her ulcerated face.

The wind chimes beneath the eaves rang clearly, beautiful as a dream, just like the rare tenderness of those past days when the boy and girl had leaned together beneath a sky full of stars.

That day, carrying his pawn ticket, Jiang She left Xunyang.

As dusk closed in, he raised his sword and looked into the distance, silently making a decision.

He would find his family first, then bring them back together. Back to Mei Yuewan.

He didn’t believe in karma. He only knew that long ago, he’d become unable to let her go.

(10)

Jiang She had only ridden a short distance out of Xunyang when a crimson figure caught up. Gu Yao’er sat on horseback with a bundle over her shoulder, clearly prepared, smiling prettily and slyly.

“A-She-shixiong, wait for me! I’ll come find your family with you!”

Jiang She’s eyelid twitched. “Why did you follow me? Does Shifu know?”

Gu Yao’er urged her horse alongside his. “Of course. Father told me to find you, so I could gain some experience of the martial world.”

Jiang She looked at her cheerful face. After a long while, he could only pull his lips into a helpless smile.

They set out together. Along the way, Jiang She made himself perfectly clear: he regarded Gu Yao’er only as a younger sister and had no other feelings. She could accompany him for a little while, but should return to the agency soon.

Gu Yao’er pursed her lips. “Brother and sister, then. After enough time, who knows what relationship it might become?”

Jiang She: …

He only turned away and touched his chest, where he kept the plum-blossom hairpin close, then sighed deeply.

One day, they stopped at a roadside tea stall. Jiang She took out the hairpin again and gazed at it for a long time. Gu Yao’er snorted, drained her cup, and was about to speak when a conversation drifted over from the next table.

“The Thirteenth Prince’s rebel army really broke into Xunyang?”

“How could it be false? After taking the city, they’ll head north straight for the imperial capital. The Thirteenth Prince has enormous ambitions…”

“The commander defending Xunyang couldn’t hold them off?”

“How could he? Bodies are already everywhere in the city. Several gold shops were stripped bare. Thank goodness I risked my life to get my family out, or we’d have died under the rebels’ blades, too.”

“Tsk, tsk. No wonder we saw so many refugees on the way here. They must be people fleeing Xunyang…”

With a crack, a teacup shattered between someone’s fingers. The conversation at the next table stopped abruptly. Everyone looked up to see that a tall, handsome figure had come to stand before them at some point, a sword at his waist. His face was deathly pale, and his lips trembled.

“Are you talking about Xunyang? Do you know what’s happened to the Mei pawnshop?”

However Gu Yao’er tried to dissuade him, Jiang She was determined to return. His gaze was firm. Never had he been so certain of his own heart.

“If something happens to her, I’ll never be happy for the rest of my life. Finding my family would mean nothing, because that family would already be incomplete.”

Gu Yao’er stamped her foot and hesitated to speak. In the end, helpless, she could only watch Jiang She ride away. They agreed he would meet her as soon as he’d rescued Mei Yuewan.

The meeting place was an old Gu family residence to the south. Gu Yao’er gave him the address and rode directly toward it herself. She wasn’t worried about the agency’s safety, because she knew her father and fellow disciples were already waiting there.

When her father had told her to follow Jiang She out of Xunyang, he’d already explained his real intention. She hadn’t understood then. Now, she probably did.

Avoid the turmoil. Avoid the slaughter and flames of war. Avoid a great upheaval in Xunyang that had long been destined to happen.

Her father had calculated everything. Perhaps the only unexpected thing was… that Jiang She would happen to learn of the city’s disaster and risk everything to turn back and rescue someone.

On the mountain road beneath the setting sun, dust flew as a man and horse swept past, startling birds into flight.

In the roaring wind, Jiang She’s heart pounded. He gripped the reins, his pale face constantly murmuring: There was still time. There had to be time…

(11)

Jiang She searched corpse-strewn Xunyang for more than half a month. The Mei household was already a mass of broken walls and ruins. The bodies charred by fire were unrecognizable. Almost mad, he searched through the dead, refusing to give up before the final moment.

As though he’d lost every sensation, with blood and grime clouding his sight, he could think only of that slender, snow-white figure. Only now did he suddenly realize how deeply she had rooted herself in his heart.

But he searched and searched, and no matter how he searched, there was no clue, no trace. Even after the army sent to suppress the rebellion entered the city and wiped out the Thirteenth Prince’s rebels, he still hadn’t found Mei Yuewan.

The general leading the suppression force was named Fan Pingsheng. He not only captured the rebels but stayed to help the prefect of Xunyang handle the aftermath, gradually restoring order and peace. The city’s people practically revered him as a god.

Unfortunately, Jiang She had no attention left for any of it. When General Fan rode past him with his army, he only glanced up in a daze, then went back to stopping people in the street.

“Have you seen a girl who’s white all over? Even her eyes are white…”

The world seemed turned upside down. Day and night meant nothing. Forgetting fatigue, he searched with only one thought: he had to find her. Dead or alive, he had to find her. Once he did, he’d tell her how much he loved her and never leave her again…

After who knew how long of this frantic searching, one day, as Jiang She questioned everyone he met in the street, a carriage passed through. The people lined the road to welcome it. He happened to glance back—and his whole body jolted in indescribable shock.

The person seated in the carriage was General Fan in black robes. Beside him leaned a woman with fine, long brows, red lips, and lovely hair. She was unmistakably Mei Yuewan, whom Jiang She had searched for so long!

No. More precisely, a Mei Yuewan who wasn’t so “white.” Her features were exactly the same, but her hair and pupils were black, and her body had the color of an ordinary person’s. She was no longer deathly pale all over. Her skin was like congealed cream, only fairer than most.

The carriage flashed past. Jiang She’s heart raced as he pushed through the crowd like a madman. He couldn’t catch it, but heard the people nearby discussing a great happy event coming to the city: General Fan would marry at the victory banquet. His bride was the lovely woman sharing his carriage.

As though struck by five thunderbolts, Jiang She tightened his hand on his sword and spun around, his expression terrifying. “Is what you’re saying true? General Fan is really getting married?”

The moonlit night was cold, and the wind howled. A dark figure slipped silently into the general’s residence.

When Jiang She saw that familiar figure on the bed again, his eyes filled with tears almost instantly. He could barely contain his excitement.

“Yuewan, Yuewan, I’m here. I’ve come to take you away…”

Gripping his sword, he stumbled forward. Amid the drifting bed curtains, the person on the bed rose and met his gaze. It was indeed the familiar face he’d searched for to the point of madness.

Yet Mei Yuewan didn’t seem surprised to see him. Sitting among the curtains, she almost sighed, her tone quiet and distant. “I knew you’d come to find me. I trust you’ve been well, Jiang She.”

Jiang She’s steps stopped. His hand on the sword trembled. “You saw me during the day, didn’t you? Why didn’t you acknowledge me?”

He answered his own question, becoming incoherent. “Was it… was that General Fan threatening you? Is he forcing you to marry him? Were you afraid that if he discovered me, I’d be implicated? Don’t be afraid. I’ve come to take you away…”

By the time Jiang She came to find Mei Yuewan, these guesses had almost become certainties in his mind. He didn’t know what had happened in between. He only knew that if Mei Yuewan was marrying General Fan, it couldn’t be willingly.

Growing more agitated as he spoke, he was about to step forward and seize her shoulders. But the slender figure drew back and looked up at him.

“No. You’re wrong. No one is threatening me.”

Mei Yuewan’s face was still fair as snow, but her eyes were black as ink. Moonlight spilled through the lattice window. She paused, then looked at the astonished Jiang She with what seemed like an indescribable resentment.

“And I won’t go with you. You and I have nothing to do with each other anymore.”

(12)

Without General Fan, Mei Yuewan would probably have died at the rebels’ hands. Their first meeting hadn’t taken place amid thousands of troops and horses, but in the lane outside the Gu Escort Agency.

Not long after Jiang She left Xunyang, she missed him so much she couldn’t sleep. Unable to stop herself, she took a lantern to the agency in the middle of the night. In the dim lane, she saved a man covered in blood.

At the time, she didn’t know who he was, and he didn’t reveal his identity. Only when his wounds had healed and he was leaving did he hold her hand and say meaningfully, “I’ll come back to find you. Wait for me.”

Mei Yuewan hadn’t taken those words to heart. But when they met again after that wait, it was amid the smoke and flames of war.

The rebels entered the city and burned the Mei household clean away. Her father and everyone else died horribly. But the soldiers kept Mei Yuewan, the “ghost-faced young miss,” as some curious “white-haired freak,” tormenting her for amusement.

Surrounded by them, covered in her family’s blood, even the bamboo umbrella she gripped had been stained crimson. Just as her heart nearly surrendered to despair, hooves thundered and arrows flew.

Fan Pingsheng, the general appointed by the emperor to suppress the rebellion, appeared with his troops.

The circle of rebel soldiers around her fell beneath the arrows. Black robes swept forward, and a large hand reached down from horseback. Descending like a god, he rescued her from deep water and scorching fire.

Fan Pingsheng not only buried Mei Yuewan’s family and settled her safely, but somehow obtained a miraculous prescription for her to take daily. Gradually, by the time the rebels had almost been cleared out, most of her unnatural whiteness had faded. Her pupils, hair, and lashes began turning black.

Only then did Mei Yuewan learn that Fan Pingsheng had collapsed in the lane because he’d been carrying intelligence and was being hunted by rebel forces. By saving him, she’d given him the chance to return to the imperial capital and bring reinforcements to quell the rebellion. In his words, she deserved immense credit: she’d saved the whole city of Xunyang, and the entire realm.

But Mei Yuewan didn’t think so. She felt she’d done very little. The person who had truly saved the people from fire and flood was Fan Pingsheng. The person who’d given her a second life was Fan Pingsheng, too.

So when the handsome man in black, while feeding her medicine, suddenly proposed with deep feeling and promised to care for her all his life, she froze—and could think of no reason to refuse.

“Jiang She, leave. I’m about to be married. I won’t go with you.”

In the room, Mei Yuewan sounded very tired. She waved a hand and closed her eyes, but Jiang She panicked, shaking his head desperately. “No. You don’t like him. You’re only repaying a debt…”

“But you’re late. You came too late, didn’t you?”

Those dark eyes opened abruptly, cutting him off. Somehow, Jiang She felt an indescribable hatred in the way she looked at him.

“The Mei pawnshop is gone. Your pawn ticket has been returned. We settled everything long ago. Why are you still here?”

For a moment, Jiang She was at a loss. Even his lips trembled. “Don’t… don’t you like me anymore?”

“Like?” Mei Yuewan seemed to laugh coldly. Looking at him, she said quietly, “I’ve liked you for so many years. I’m exhausted. Haven’t you always hated me? Why come looking now? The karma between us ended long ago. Don’t you know?”

This time, the hatred was clearer. Jiang She’s heart jolted. He’d never seen Mei Yuewan behave so unlike herself. As his thoughts turned, he dimly understood: she must hate him because she’d suddenly lost all her family and he hadn’t been beside her in her greatest danger.

Understanding that, Jiang She’s heart ached unbearably. Regret overwhelmed him. “I’m sorry. I came too late. Everything in those years was my fault, too. I’m sorry. Please give me another chance. Let me take you away and care for you properly…”

As he spoke, he frantically took the plum-blossom hairpin from his clothes and eagerly held it out to her.

“Look. This is the birthday gift I prepared for you then. I didn’t deliberately refuse to spend your birthday with you. It’s just that my mother’s birthday happens to be the same day, and I couldn’t get past that knot in my heart. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ll never leave you behind again. After coming back, I searched for you for so long. I nearly turned all of Xunyang upside down. I was wrong. I truly was wrong. I’ll make up for everything I did wrong before. Please give me one more chance…”

Amid those incoherent words of anguish and regret, Mei Yuewan suddenly snatched the plum-blossom hairpin and slashed it hard across Jiang She’s hand. Blood immediately gushed out. One drop even splashed onto her lashes.

“Enough. Don’t say another word. Everything is too late!”

Jiang She covered his wound in disbelief. But Mei Yuewan raised her hand again and flung the bloodstained hairpin at him. Every word rang clearly through the night.

“The pawn ticket has been returned. The person I was waiting for… will never come.”

(13)

Xunyang was gradually recovering from the war and regaining peace. That night, fireworks filled the sky, soldiers sat in ranks, and cups crossed amid a lively victory banquet.

Under everyone’s gaze, the handsome General Fan, his eyes smiling, slowly led his bride along the long path of red silk. Beneath her veil, Mei Yuewan’s face was calm, showing neither sorrow nor joy.

Before the drawn-out call to “Bow to Heaven and Earth” had ended, a tall figure carrying a murderous air descended from above and swept into the hall like wind. The guests erupted.

Jiang She held his sword. His face was pale, light shimmered in his eyes, but his lips smiled.

“I’m sorry. I came anyway.”

As he spoke, he moved toward the red bridal robes with lightning speed. A flick of his sword lifted the veil, revealing that exquisitely beautiful face.

“I thought it over. You like my eyebrows, so I’ll let you see them every day. Not only that, I’ll paint your brows for the rest of my life. Even if you’re unwilling, there’s nothing you can do. Who told you to accept my pawn ticket?”

That thin sheet of paper, which had passed through so much, suddenly appeared and was pressed into her bridal robes without argument. At the same moment, his long hand encircled Mei Yuewan’s waist. Sword energy flashed like a rainbow as he leaped out of the courtyard.

Everything happened in the space of a lightning flash. No one had time to react. Even General Fan’s eyes tightened sharply before he abruptly understood. “Jiang She! You’re Jiang She!”

He pursued them for several steps, but the tall figure had already carried Mei Yuewan into the night like the wind. Behind him, guests began screaming.

“Guards! A bandit has stolen the bride!”

The mountains rose and fell, their terrain immensely complicated—perfect for hiding and escaping. Even before seizing the bride, Jiang She had planned to use them to shake off pursuit.

Once they crossed the mountains, they could leave Xunyang completely and head south to meet Gu Yao’er at the address she’d given him.

With that belief, Jiang She took Mei Yuewan through the wilderness, eating in the wind and sleeping under the dew. They circled through the mountains to evade General Fan’s pursuers, fleeing day and night. He kept telling her, “Yuewan, endure a little longer. Hold on a little more. We’ll be safe soon…”

Throughout their flight, whatever Jiang She said, Mei Yuewan never answered. Like a puppet that had lost its soul, she let him arrange everything. Only a deep exhaustion remained in her eyes.

Without his noticing, her black hair began turning white. The color of her skin and pupils grew paler and paler. By the time Jiang She finally realized something was wrong, Mei Yuewan had already returned more than halfway to her former appearance. Only then did he panic.

“How could this happen? Wasn’t your illness cured?”

In the cave, Mei Yuewan turned away without answering. She didn’t eat the wild fruit he offered, either. Jiang She moved closer. “Is it that once you’re off that medicine, you change back?”

Mei Yuewan remained expressionless, only a few more traces of desolation in her eyes. Jiang She said, “Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Let’s escape first. I’ll get that prescription back afterward…”

As he comforted her, he tidied her disordered hair and fed her the wild fruit bit by bit, his meticulous care just like what Mei Yuewan had once given him.

“Even if you change back and become white all over, it doesn’t matter. I’ll be good to you all my life. Whatever you look like, I won’t leave. Once we reach the Gu family’s old residence and settle down, let’s get married. All right?”

At the words “the Gu family’s old residence,” Mei Yuewan trembled almost imperceptibly. She’d been numbly eating the fruit Jiang She fed her. Now she turned away and pressed her lips closed. Seeing this, he didn’t force her. He ate the remaining fruit in a few bites, then drew her into his arms and wrapped her tightly in his cloak, sheltering her from wind and cold.

“Sleep. Sleep. When you wake, it’ll be a new day. It won’t be long before we’re out…”

Jiang She didn’t see Mei Yuewan blink blankly in his arms, her lashes white as frost, a bottomless sorrow seeming to lie in her glass-pale pupils.

(14)

As the days passed, Mei Yuewan turned completely white, and her breathing grew weaker. While resting in yet another cave, Jiang She finally realized something was wrong.

He kept pouring true qi into her. By the end, even his voice shook. “Why… why isn’t it working?”

Only then did Mei Yuewan open her eyes. With a bitter smile, she spoke her first words since their escape.

“Young Hero Jiang, have you had enough fun?”

Firelight illuminated the cave. Jiang She jolted, his handsome face instantly draining of color. “What… what do you mean?”

Mei Yuewan moved a little away from him and leaned weakly against the cave wall. Looking up, she smiled faintly, ghostlike and distant.

“You haven’t had enough, but I have. And I have no life left to keep playing with you.”

This time, Jiang She’s face became even paler. Not a trace of blood remained in his lips. His voice was urgent and hoarse. “What do you mean? What do you mean, no life left?”

Mei Yuewan still smiled. “No life left means no life left. I’ve liked you for so many years. Can’t I be tired…? Haven’t you wanted to know why I suddenly returned your pawn ticket?”

The fire crackled. Jiang She slowly stood, but his hands and feet grew icy, as though he’d returned to the frozen snow of childhood.

“Because I had little time left to live. After I died, my father intended to keep you and make you guard my grave forever. I couldn’t bear it, so I decided to let you go. After you left, I ate so, so much candy. But however much I ate, it all tasted bitter…”

“Later, I met General Fan. The medicine he gave me didn’t only treat my illness. It kept me alive. I had to drink one bowl on time every day. General Fan said it would probably take decades of continuous treatment to remove the root of it. To make it easier to care for me, and because his feelings for me were sincere, he proposed. He’s a good man. I didn’t want to fail him. But I didn’t actually want to marry him that much, either. When you came to seize the bride, I didn’t know whether I was panicking or relieved…”

The cool voice echoed through the cave. Jiang She suddenly shuddered and blurted out, “What happens if the medicine stops? What happens if it stops?”

He’d struck the crucial point. Before, he’d only thought Mei Yuewan would return to her former appearance at worst. Even if she became entirely white, he wouldn’t disdain her. But now…

Sure enough, that distant voice laughed softly again.

“Do you still not understand?”

Looking into Jiang She’s eyes, the snow-white face curved its lips and slowly uttered eight characters:

“Qi and blood reverse. White bones end life.”

Something roared in his head. Jiang She staggered and fell to his knees.

But Mei Yuewan’s long lashes trembled. Her glass-pale pupils shone with extraordinary brightness, like a final flare before death.

“Don’t ask me to follow you anywhere again. Especially not to that old Gu residence. I lack the fortune to enjoy it, and I don’t want that fortune…”

“Otherwise, how could my entire Mei family rest beneath the Nine Springs?”

At those words, hatred rose abruptly. Jiang She looked up sharply and met Mei Yuewan’s deeply resentful eyes.

“Don’t you want to know where the agency people went? Did you think they’d all escaped?”

“No. Your good shifu, your good fellow disciples—General Fan arrested them long ago… Because they’re accomplices of the rebel army!”

The people who’d died so terribly in Xunyang probably could never have imagined that the city’s long-established Gu Escort Agency had always been a force planted there by the Thirteenth Prince. For years, under the guise of escort work, it had transported intelligence and weapons for him, carried out secret deeds, and helped him seize power.

Jiang She had taken part in many escort missions. Without knowing it, he’d already handled many affairs for the Thirteenth Prince and passed intelligence on numerous occasions. Chief Gu had even intended, after a little more time, to have the Thirteenth Prince take Jiang She under his command and formally make him a member of the organization…

Though he’d been kept in the dark, he had undeniably helped the rebels attack the city, indirectly bringing about the deaths of the Mei household and countless ordinary people.

This was the true obstruction in Mei Yuewan’s heart, the thing she couldn’t let go!

“They concealed it for so many years. Who could have imagined it? Perhaps it really was unfinished karma, destined to keep you and me from a good ending, with no way back…”

Mei Yuewan smiled bleakly. Her vision grew increasingly blurred. Jiang She had already thrown himself beside her, crying in shock and collapse until he was drenched in tears. But she leaned against his shoulder as though finally released.

“To die beside you now is probably… the best ending I can imagine.”

Love and hatred intertwined. She was trapped between them, unable to advance or retreat, suffering whichever way she turned. If she could die in his arms, perhaps it was another kind of receiving what she’d sought, finding the redemption she’d begged for.

“No. Don’t, Yuewan. I was wrong. I’ll take you to Fan Pingsheng right now. Don’t sleep. Please don’t leave me…”

In the cave, Jiang She trembled violently, sobbing too hard to speak. He lifted Mei Yuewan, whose breathing was as faint as a thread, and staggered toward the entrance. But her head tilted, and she lost consciousness in his arms.

Just then, heaven and earth seemed to freeze. Time stopped. Grass and trees stood still.

A snowflake drifted slowly from the air. Jiang She looked up and saw a man appear, walking through a sky full of falling snow.

“It’s too late. Even finding Fan Pingsheng would do no good. His medicine can no longer save her…”

The man sighed softly. A silver, frostlike mark rested at the center of his forehead. His black hair flew, his beauty cold and exquisite. An aloof, otherworldly air surrounded him. He seemed nothing like a mortal.

Heaven and earth were hushed. Jiang She felt as though he’d fallen into a dream. Only a cool voice reached his ears.

“Even if Fan Pingsheng drained every drop of his black-fox blood, he couldn’t turn this around. All of it is still the entanglement of that original karma…”

(15)

Mei Yuewan might never have guessed that the bowl she drank each day was no miraculous elixir or prescription. It was a bowl of black-fox blood mixed with the candy she loved most.

And the wounded man she’d rescued in the lane was none other than the younger brother of that one-eyed white fox: a black fox who’d cultivated human form and moved among both court and common society.

The world could be that coincidental. When Fan Pingsheng first saw Mei Yuewan, he could scarcely believe it. Almost at a glance, he recognized the little girl his elder sister often mentioned—the girl she’d bitten, turning her entire body white.

After taking revenge on the Mei family in a fit of anger, the one-eyed white fox had often regretted it and spoken of it to her younger brother. So the black fox in human form not only recognized the victim, but developed tender affection for the gentle woman who’d saved him and cared for him so attentively. He decided to repay his elder sister’s debt and cure the strange condition afflicting her.

The bowl of medicine he gave her daily was actually black-fox blood. It counteracted the white-fox poison she’d received, gradually fading her abnormal whiteness, turning her pupils and hair black, and restoring her original appearance little by little.

But the white-fox poison had accumulated for so long that she needed to drink black-fox blood for the same number of years. She couldn’t miss even a single day. So when Fan Pingsheng proposed to Mei Yuewan, he’d already prepared himself to cut his wrist and give her blood for the next several decades.

“The white fox and black fox, sister and brother, both come from my Jinzun Valley. I am the valley lord, Xue Mingchuan. At the white fox’s request, I’ve come to resolve this karmic grievance…”

Amid the falling snow, the man’s wide sleeves fluttered, and his gaze was cold and clear. Looking at Jiang She, who was overcome with shock, he sighed with pity in his voice.

“But I came too late after all. You abducted her and delayed until now. Even if Fan Pingsheng drained himself dry, he could do nothing…”

Jiang She shook violently in disbelief. Tightening his hold on Mei Yuewan, he suddenly dropped to his knees before Xue Mingchuan.

“Please. Please save her. I’ll do anything. Please…”

Xue Mingchuan didn’t move for a long time. Amid the falling snow, the pity in his eyes only deepened. “Even if it required your own life, would you be willing?”

Jiang She raised his head sharply, breathing rapidly. Xue Mingchuan gazed at him, each word echoing between heaven and earth.

“One life for another. Use your life to hold back her departing steps and give her a new life. Are you willing? This is all I can do.”

Snow rustled down, and the cold wind mourned. After an unknown time, the kneeling figure finally showed a pale smile. With tears in his eyes, he said:

“If Yuewan were gone, living alone in this lonely world would only make me a walking corpse… I’m willing.”

“Valley Lord, after I’m gone, please give her to Fan Pingsheng. Tell him I’m entrusting my girl to him. Please ask him… to treat her well.”

Every word in that difficult voice was plain and unadorned. Yet Xue Mingchuan suddenly felt that these must be the most moving words of love in the world.

His broad sleeves fluttered in the snowstorm. He nodded and gave an almost imperceptible sigh.

It was a final farewell no one knew of.

Inside the cave, Jiang She’s body was like white mist, floating in the air as he gently stroked Mei Yuewan’s cheek. His movements were so tender, his gaze so lingering. Even as his own body gradually dispersed, he paid it no mind.

He picked up the plum-blossom hairpin and softly placed it in her hair. He smiled with contentment.

The plum blossoms opened in simple elegance. They did indeed suit her perfectly. Her sleeping face was peaceful, as though she were still the little girl who’d called him xiao-gege. Only, he would never taste her candy again.

“Yuewan, goodbye. Forget me. The good and the bad—forget it all. May the rest of your life be peaceful and happy, free of worry and sorrow… I’m leaving. This time, I really probably won’t see you again.”

“Thank you for giving me a home.”

A tear fell with a soft patter, and the mist dispersed. The white vapor vanished, his allotted lifespan transferred. Amid drifting motes of light, Xue Mingchuan murmured his farewell.

“I have given you my promise, and I will not fail it. Go in peace.”

He turned and gazed at the sleeping figure in the cave. Her long hair and lashes were gradually turning black. Her breathing slowly evened out, and warmth and color returned to her cheeks.

“Karma and fate have always been this way. May this life be as he wished for you, without worry or sorrow.”

After a long time, Xue Mingchuan murmured those words. But the sleeping figure would not hear them. Still less would she know that something in her life had disappeared forever.

Epilogue

The rebel prince was defeated, and peace settled over the realm. In a blink, many years passed.

In the imperial capital, General Fan, who’d earned merit in suppressing the rebellion, rose swiftly through the ranks. Not only did he hold high office, but he had a beautiful wife beside him. Rumor said he was devoted only to the wife he’d first married, a rare and excellent husband, inspiring envy in countless people.

Outside the window, spring sunlight shone brightly. Inside, light incense smoke curled. The bronze mirror reflected a beautiful, gentle face: black brows, red lips, skin fair as jade, as though the world’s loveliest colors had all been painted onto it.

When Fan Pingsheng returned, he saw Mei Yuewan dressing before the mirror. He approached, smiled, and naturally picked up an eyebrow pencil from the dressing table to carefully paint her brows.

“My lady, are they beautiful?”

The person in the mirror smiled, then blinked and murmured, “Beautiful. But I always feel… as though I’ve forgotten something.”

The plum-blossom hairpin on her head appeared in the bronze mirror, making her face even lovelier. Her brows were dark and long, graceful as distant mountains.

She couldn’t help staring at them in a daze. For a moment, they seemed to overlap with another pair of brows and eyes in the mirror. A handsome figure wavered beyond its surface, inexplicably familiar.

Though it was spring, she seemed to hear wind and snow brushing past her ears. From indistinct memories came the distant laughter of a child.

“Die, look. That xiao-gege’s eyebrows are so beautiful.”